I've been thinking about telling someone, I've considered telling my best friend but I decided against it. I've been dropping small hints here and there to my mother, like "I don't like my body" and she once misheard me saying "It's going to be a girl" thinking I said "I want to be a girl" and a conversation started from there, she said something along the lines of "If you wanted to be a girl I'd still love you the same, but those people have hard lives and I don't want that for you, or for me." So I know she'd support me in some way, but, the truth is I'm scared. If I tell her, and she cries or is ashamed, I'd feel guilty and sad for ages, I don't want that, not again. Another thing being, I'm 14, still in school, starting my GCSE's and things like that, the stress would probably mess with my education, even more than it's doing so already. Anyway, I'm straying a bit here, so, who did you tell first/suggest telling first, I want to get this off of my chest.
I told some friends and it went great. Starting with them is easier because if they accept you, awesome! If they don't, you can always find new friends. You can't exactly find new parents. As for your mom, maybe ask her what her thoughts are on transgender people.
Hi there! Welcome to Empty Closets! It might not seem like it, but you have already come out by joining the forum, and writing about yourself, your feelings towards your gender. That's already awesome! Well done. How come you have decided against coming out to your friend? For a lot of people, the very first time they come out, it is to a friend who they trust and know is supportive. Good and supportive friends are usually an integral part of one's support network. If you think about your circle of friends, is there someone that you trust enough or feel would be supportive and understanding? The other piece, and most important piece, for you to think about though is, how ready do you feel in coming out to others around you? When it comes to coming out to your mom, and from the sounds of it, she would probably be accepting/supportive, given that she has mentioned: There are certainly some fears that your mom has, and perhaps you as well, in terms of how things are going to unfold, but you can take steps to make sure that things are going to be as good as they can be. One of them, is having a good support network in place. Take your time and follow your instincts at all times.
I told a really close friend first, then told my mom. She was a little upset that I went to my friend first, but she supports me 100%. It sounds like your mom would support you, at least to some extent (but hopefully fully). I would also suggest when you're ready to do some searching on google for therapists in your area that specialize in gender. You don't have to see one right away - only when you are ready. It took me weeks to find a therapist in my area that would see me. If you need any assistance ("next steps") or just want to talk, feel free to PM me. =)
