So my situation is pretty unique from other people. I'll give some background information. I live in Texas, and I'm not very educated on its stance on homosexuality and LGBT rights, though I'm sure it's not as good as some states. Both of my parents are very supportive of LGBT rights, which is very odd as they both grew up in conservative families. I want to come out to them badly, but I always have visions about how they will react, most of which are unsatisfactory. I also hear stories about pro-LGBT people who have gay friends yet are hysterical when they find out a family member is LGBT. Basically I'm just wondering how to come out. I don't want to make a big deal about it, just let my parents know for the future.
The laws in Texas are definitely not the best, but Texas houses many Pro-LGBTQ citizens. Although it is true that there are people who are accepting of LGBTQ when they happen to be outsiders rather than close family and loved ones, it is probably safe to believe that even if they are a bit disappointed they likely wouldn't react drastically if they recognize that homosexuals are people who deserve respect. It might be something that they become emotional about, but I don't think that you have to worry about your well-being. Coming out for the first time is rarely something that goes exactly as we plan. We often forget the things that we expected to say and everything becomes much more authentic in the moment. I wouldn't put to much planning into the situation. It is something that you will just have to thrust yourself into at some point. The first step is always the hardest. Often times it is something that we should have to go out on a limb and do. But I wish you the best. (*hug*)
Hi there! How would you feel about trying to write a coming out letter? Writing out your thoughts, could help you in gaining some confidence and organise your thoughts. There are a few coming out letters in the EC Resource Section. If you would like, have a read through them. You have the most important information: both of your parents are supportive of LGBTQ rights. Given that, it's hard to imagine that they wouldn't be supportive of you. As Gen highlighted, they might feel emotional, and they might need a bit of time to shift/re-adjust their dreams for you. Have your parents ever said anything that would give you an indication that they would need more time to come around and be supportive?
Honestly, living in Houston as well, I decided not to come out to my parents yet, but come out to close friends. The fact of the matter is that Texas is not an ideal place for LGBT to live (with the exception of Austin). If you know your parents are homophobes, then the best thing to do is to wait to move out as there are multiple times when a parent completely disowns their child for their sexuality. As Gen said, the first time you tell someone "I'm gay" is the hardest thing ever, and honestly I came out to my brother without planning on telling him. Coming out so far has been a positive experience for me and honestly life hasn't changed much - I hope you have the same reactions as I and hope the best for you! ~~Erick
You are only 13 years old; your parents think of you as a child. When you are ready, you should sit both of them down and tell them how you feel. That you are not attracted to girls, only other boys, and that you are certain about it. They have probably already figured out that you might be gay if they have been paying attention to you. Rather than label yourself as "gay", let them talk to you and see how they handle it. They might try to tell you that it is a phase, or that you are too young yet to know who you are interested in. Whatever their reaction to the discussion is, YOU have come out to them, and will be free to act consistently with what you have told them without having to hide your orientation. In time, they will accept the reality of it.
