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I came out to my closest friend yesterday.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Breezeblocks, May 23, 2015.

  1. Breezeblocks

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    I wrote last weekend about how I've finally accepted myself for who I am and about my plans to come out for the first time to one of my closest friends on Friday. And I did. And it went really well.

    We spent the day at my house watching movies (Juno and Perks of Being a Wallflower, by the way) and planned to spend the rest of the day walking around downtown looking at the shops and galleries. We stopped by the park first, and I told her that I had something big I needed to tell her- something that I've never told anyone before. We sat down on at a table under this enormous tree, and I couldn't just come right out and say it... first of all, I didn't know how she would respond, and I felt like I needed to ease into it, not just for her sake but for myself as I was so nervous about saying it. I told her that this was something I've denied for quite some time, something that I wished I could change for so long. I said that I'm not necessarily proud of it (being attributed to the Christian household I was raised in), but that I've come to realize that it's something that's not going to change and I've come to accept myself for who I am. And then, for the first time in my life, the words left my mouth. I'm gay.

    As soon as I said it, I felt a flush of emotions I've never felt before. It wasn't all happy and liberating like I imagined it would be... the feelings were more like shock, as in the kind of shock you feel when you take a plunge into cold water. I just cupped my face with both of my hands because I was on the verge of tears, and she just sat next to me and hugged me. She told me that she didn't think of me any differently because of this, and that she completely accepts me. Apparently I was pretty good at hiding it because she never suspected me to be gay, but she was overjoyed that I told her. And nothing changed in our friendship because of it- we went on to continue with our plans for the rest of the day just as we would have before. And that's the best thing that could have happened. I didn't want anything to change in our friendship, and, if anything, we became closer because of it.

    I'm really satisfied with the way things went yesterday. It's a totally bizarre, new feeling that I'm not used to yet. This was the first time I came out to anyone before, and I guess it just feels different to know that you're not hiding (or can't hide) anymore. But I'm glad I did it, because I feel more confident in my ability to tell others I trust.
     
  2. Lyana

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    That's just great news, Breezeblocks. It's awesome it went so well for you. Your friend sounds amazing, so be sure to keep her close!
    Hope the rest of the journey is just as satisfying for you.
     
  3. Gerit

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    Congratulations! I know the first time you ever come out to someone is monumental, but hear me out when I say this: People generally don't make it as big of a deal as we do in our heads. When you first come out, it's a time of vulnerability for sure, but to the other person, most of the time they've either expected it, or it's just another part of who you are as a person. Especially in 2015, it's just not as big of a deal.

    Hope you do well in the future!
     
  4. Yossarian

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    Congratulations on such a happy coming out experience; it went just like it always should.
     
  5. MyTruth2013

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    It gets progressively easier each time you do it! But, looks like you picked the perfect person to start with. First person I told was my sister... The nerves!! Felt exactly as you described and she was fully supportive. The hardest sometimes, to be honest, will be continuing to accept yourself. It's still a struggle for myself! I was raised in a deeply religious home! Good for you! Remember to be kind to yourself! :slight_smile:
     
  6. vicky90

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    Congratulations ! It is really wonderful to get such amazing response on first coming out. :slight_smile:
     
  7. ToneDef

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    I wish I had that kind of response when I told my bestfriend. He ignored it apparently, because next time I brought it up he said that he couldn't remember and didn't know if I liked guys anymore...

    I'm glad you had such a great outcome. I wish I had people that cared like that around me. Hopefully you continue to have such a streak of luck! Cheers :slight_smile:
     
  8. Just1Dude

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    That is amazing! Very happy for you and proud of you. It is great knowing you have someone in your corner no matter what!
     
  9. Chickadee123

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    That's awesome :slight_smile: reading stories like this gives me hope that i will be able to take the plunge and tell my best mate soon.
    Congrats!
     
  10. The Falcon

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    I recently came out to my friends as well. I am happy for you. Good job! Let yourself feel all the emotions and thoughts that will arrive during these couple of next days.

    A piece of advice, become stronger you can, and very self-confident. Because some people might reject you, and it will hurt because by choosing them to come out to, you put yourself in a vulnerable position.
     
  11. itsmary

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    Congratulations!!!! I have recently come out to my closest friend too. It feels good
     
  12. Eric255

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    I am so happy for you. I know what a big step that was for you, and you did it. I bet even just a few months ago you would never have thought you'd work up the courage to say those words to another person. And here you are. Congratulations, and all the best to you.