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Friend in need

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Ally of Pride, May 23, 2015.

  1. Ally of Pride

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    Hello, I'm new to this forum but, I was hoping some might chime in with some advice. I recently made friends with a young person that is struggling with opposition from his parents regarding his sexual orientation. I tried to uplift him and give him some positive insights while validating and sympathizing with him but I feel like there was more that I could have done. He's said that he's been depressed since January and is supposed to receive therapy for it but, his father refuses to take him. His father claims that he will "go to hell" for being gay and that he's "faking" his depression. It's a very sad situation. Does anyone have any insight or advice as to what more I can do if I come into contact with either him or more like him in the future? All of your thoughts are helpful. Thanks in advance! :slight_smile:
     
  2. guitar

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    The best thing you can do for his depression is spend time with him and get him moving. Out with friends, running around playing laser tag, going for a walk. The worst thing he can do is sit idle.

    Not everyone opens up in the same way, but talking out his problems will help him a lot if you can approach him the right way. You seem like a great friend coming onto this forum asking for advice. Just by affirming your friendship, that you're there for him and support him, you're doing a tremendous amount to help him.

    Beyond that, introduce him to this forum and other support things for LGBT people - movies, books, TV shows, etc. He needs things that confirm he's not a monster for being LGBT. There are also LGBT support groups he can join as well, although getting him to those will be easier said than done.
     
  3. Ally of Pride

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    Great advice, thanks very much :slight_smile: He had a conversation with his Mother and she's supporting him 100% so I'm very glad how that turned out and I'm happy for him
     
  4. Eveline

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    I believe that the most important element of support is being consistent. After you leave him, his life goes back to being what it was and as such no matter how kind and supportive you are when you meet him, it will be ineffective in the long term. There are two possibilities, to be there for him whenever he needs to talk for as long as he needs you or to help him find someone else who will support him.

    The second option can be fulfilled in multiple different ways:1. Help him find a support group
    2. Find a good therapist 3. Introduce him to multiple friends or a single friend who you know are supportive and are open to new friendships. 4. Encourage him to join a support forum and to express himself in writing.

    Edit: I'm glad to hear that your friend's mother has accepted him fully, that really is great news. :icon_bigg
     
    #4 Eveline, May 23, 2015
    Last edited: May 23, 2015
  5. Yossarian

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    IF you know anyone else who is gay who might become his friend, it would help him to have someone else with similar orientation to talk to and do things with. Meanwhile, just continue to support him and invite him to do things with you which might take his mind off his problems, when you can.