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Do I come out, and how?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by BAMyr59, May 23, 2015.

  1. BAMyr59

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    So I'm new here, and I need some advice. How to tell my family im bi. I'm terrified, I have known for awhile, but was quite sure when I was about 15. I've been denying it on and off the last 5 years (i'm 20 now), but after a situation. I finally accepted myself. Ive come out to my cousin and my best friend. They're super supportive and I love them for it. My family however may not be. I have a nephew who is gay. (He's older then me) and my family is totally okay with it. But, as soon as my niece (also older then me) started to date girls and would bounce back and forth between dating genders and came out as bi. My family had a hard time with it. My older sister had a problem with it and said that there is no such thing as a bisexual and I just remember being like "then what am I?" In my head, also my family began to talk about it all the time and not in a positive light. They still loved her but would constantly talk badly about her in private. And my sister even told her that she was either to scared to admit she was gay or that she wanted attention. Also I know my Dad will disown me he makes homophobic jokes constantly, and believes "God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve." I strongly believe this forced me to deny myself and want to change myself even more. Leading to issues. I made a vow that if the bill in Ireland passed that I would come out, but now I find myself worried as the family gathering I was going to tell them at comes closer. I'm scared. I'm scared they will say I'm just straight and confused and its phase. When I know that it isnt. Because I know reguardless if I fall in love with a man or a woman I will happily marry either and im attracted to both, and most of all it's who I am.
     
    #1 BAMyr59, May 23, 2015
    Last edited: May 23, 2015
  2. BAMyr59

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Minnesota
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Does anyone have any clue? Should I or shouldn't I?
     
  3. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi there! Welcome to Empty Closets! :slight_smile:

    Given what you have mentioned about your family's past reactions and you identify yourself as bisexual, my initial reaction would be to say keep building your support network, make it stronger before letting your immediate family know. How would you feel about coming out to your nephew, and your niece first?

    The 'good news' to take away from this is that despite your family having a hard time coming around to your niece's sexual orientation, the still love her. At the same time, if you feel that your dad could disown you, and your own family could talk behind your back and essentially make you feel unwanted because of your sexual orientation, you might want to tread carefully.

    You don't mention how old you are, but I wonder, do you still live with your family? Do you rely on them for financial support?