Hey. So I've been thinking about coming out to my parents a bit lately. I was/am planning to write a letter. I would say it face to face but I freeze up, I've tried on a friend and I couldn't. Anyway a few thing you should know. My parents are Homophobic Christians My dad is Pastor/Preacher Anyway. Though I do want to write it. I'm just not sure on how to go about giving to them and things like that. Also I'm not sure if I am ready, but I am dying to come out to an adult figure. Just for the extra support. Thanks guys. Any advice would be great.
Are you sure you want to come out to your parents at this time? It might be better to wait until you have left for college. But, if you feel you must do this now, you might want to do it when you are going to be out of the house for a few days, visiting with relatives or friends, to give them some time to think about what you are saying before talking to you about it. You might also want to include some PFLAG material with the letter, to explain how they are supposed to react as parents to your coming out; homophobic people sometimes don't have a clue, because they start from a fundamental misunderstanding about what being gay is like and your lack of choice about your orientation.
Yea I like the sound of adding PFLAG material. I undrrstand it may be safer to come out later. It's just I need some adult figure. At least one that I can come out to.
My grandparents are really hardcore christians and when I came out it took them a really long time to get use to the fact that I am gay. Now, after 4-5 years, they are supporting and accepting but it took some time. Coming out is one of the biggest things you'll have to do, but also one of the most rewarding things. I can't even begin to describe how much coming out to my family and friends have given me, and how much I have gained because of it. But you have to remember that the people close to you deserve time to process the information. You have to be patient and not get mad at them if they don't get it right away. I came out about 5 years ago, when I was 20, and last year my grandparents chose to leave their church because the church was anti-gay. They did that for me, but it still took them a long time. So I guess what I'm trying to say is: don't loose faith in your family, but also don't expect them to be okay right away. Give them time to process. And maybe wait till you don't live at home (I don't know if you do?) Best wishes and good luck!!
im 23 and im not yet out to my family but if they ask me anytime ill tell them the truth but until now theyre not so i dont bother telling them I just do my own thing. my parents are also Christians
I don't really expect them to accept right away. But it could be at least 2 years before I get a chance to move out. I really want/need to come out to an adult for the extra support. I guess my parents are default. I can't think of anyone else to come out to. I go to a Christian school. A church. I also don't have access to lgbt centers or groups. Also I should add. A good friend I came out to said that if I ever came out to my parents and something went wrong, that I would be welcome to stay with them.
