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It's not that he doesnt accept, its that he thinks im faking o.o

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MusicIsLife, Dec 2, 2008.

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  1. MusicIsLife

    MusicIsLife
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    Okay, so heres the deal.

    I came out to my mom a little over as year ago. Obviously, she told her "guy friend" if you know what i mean.

    So ever since then, he would make comments like he was trying to catch me "pretending to be gay but really being straight"

    So last saturday I came home from seeing Twilight, positively gushing about it, and I also said something about how cute Jacob and Embry were, and how "perfect" Sam was.

    So he basically told me I can't be gay if im saying that guys are cute.


    The thing is, I'm really comfortable with my sexuality. I have no problem saying "_insert random male here_ is cute" because i dont have a desire to sleep and/or have a relationship with him, but i will acknowledge if i think hes good-looking.

    I never said this to him, because I don't speak well when vocally debating something. I stumble over my words and I dont get my point across.

    So should I bother trying to "convince" him otherwise, or should i just wait till I get a girlfriend to put his stupid arguments to rest? [I hope that made sense :/]
     
    #1 MusicIsLife, Dec 2, 2008
  2. silas99

    silas99
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    Do you really value his opinion? It sounds like he's just trying to wind you up the wrong way and it's obviously working because you seem quite peeved off. Just let him think what he wants, you've told him your gay, what else is there to say. As long as he isn't inviting random guys over for "supper" and he isn't making any discriminatory remarks, which are upsetting you....well then just leave it. He's probably just in denial and when you bring home your girlfriend it will sink in soon enough.

    Oh plus....I also look at attractive guys and think they are mighty fine...but its more of an aesthetic thing, I don't feel sexually attracted to them. Although he wouldn't admit it, I'm sure he can look at a guy and think wow he's hot I wouldn't mind looking like him....doesn't mean he fancies him. (if that makes any sense whatsoever)
     
    #2 silas99, Dec 2, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2008
  3. ColdSnap

    ColdSnap
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    completely with silas here, not only do we all do that (or vice versa) if his opinion doesn't really matter to you (which it shouldn't) i'd just ignore it.
     
    #3 ColdSnap, Dec 2, 2008
  4. Drizzt DoUrden

    Drizzt DoUrden Guest

    I say, let him think what he wants to think. You can't really "force" him to believe you. Unless he's trying to fix you up, or is making rude comments constantly, or otherwise bothers you about it. Maybe try talking to your mom about it; tell her he's making you uncomfortable, and you wish he'd leave the issue of your sexuality alone.

    By the way, I appreciate female beauty as well, I'm just not sexually/romantically attracted to them. There's a difference between acknowledging aesthetic appeal and being sexually attracted to someone.
    That's me as well. I have a lot of stuff I could say to people, but don't because it wouldn't come out right.
     
    #4 Drizzt DoUrden, Dec 2, 2008
  5. Lexington

    Lexington
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    Accept his non-acceptance. Stop waiting for him to suddenly "get it". It'll just make you more frustrated. If you just accept that he'll keep doing these sorts of things, they won't get under your skin as much. You can respond to a "How can you be gay if you find boys cute?" with just a smile and a "You'd kinda have to be there." :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
    #5 Lexington, Dec 3, 2008
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