Hey again, third post of the day, hope you can help! :newcolor: In my mind, I have hidden my true self for so long that I have become complacent- I have become apathetic to my identity. It's just feels like I have made my fake image my fantasy world, why should anyone know? There is no reason to come out. You're straight probably maybe. You are finneee with how life is I have all these subconscious thoughts, because that is how my identity has become- subconscious: it is not on my mind and never has been.... until recently. I feel like the only way I can overcome this apathy is my admitting it to other people, because I feel I can't break away from my own apathy. I need and want to come out and now is the time. But does anyone/ has anyone ever been in a similar situation before? Of just lacking the motivation to admit it to yourself? and what happens/ happened next? Thanks again xx
I felt this way throughout most of my teens. I alternated between "I can't be gay," to, "I should try to be straight." I wasn't attracted to that many girls in school, but the people I were attracted to were exclusively female. I was afraid of coming out, to myself and to other people, because I didn't want it to be a big part of my identity. Sexuality isn't always a large part of a person's identity (it can be, and that's fine too). It isn't for me. Coming out to oneself is hard, and it can take a while. I don't know that I can offer much advice on that. From my experience, I would just suggest that you don't try to discount or excuse instances where you have been attracted to any gender. (I know I tried to do that.) If you're trying that hard to deny something in your head, you probably shouldn't. Being closeted made me feel like being a lesbian was this big, scary thing, even that I knew that it wasn't. Letting my loved ones know this in a casual manner, assured me that it wasn't. Sorry if this doesn't make much sense. Just my thought process. Good luck!
