Now that I've finished school, and plan to move out of Melbourne early next year, I don't think I'll ever have to see my ex again. A couple of you know the story already. Basically, she strung me along in a net of false promises for years, switched between "I love you" and "why can't you get it through your head that I don't want to be with you" at random, asking me out and dumping me the next day fairly regularly, slept with anyone with a pulse and then came back to me whenever she thought it would benefit her somehow, and convinced every one of our friends that I was unstable and stalking her. She pretty much broke me. I don't want anything to do with her anymore, but I'm having trouble getting her off my mind. I guess it's because I spent so long loving her, and waiting for her, and it's probably going to take a long time to really get over her. It's so weird, I don't love her, I don't even want to see her, but I keep thinking about her, and getting angry every time I do. I'm considering getting rid of the stuff I have that she gave me, throwing away the ring, burning all the notes and cards and stuff. I'm not sure if that's a good idea or not, though. Does anyone know any ways of forgetting about someone?
If the relationship meant anything to you I'd keep the letters and cards. That is one thing I regret is getting rid of all "history" of past relationships when I married my husband. Those people all had something to do with the person that I am today. This person, even though you are finished, also had that impact on you I'm suspecting. I don't think there is any good way to forget somebody. Moving away will probably help. Maybe instead of fighting your thoughts you should just think about the good times and embrace them. At least the thoughts and memories will be good ones.
Eliminating her from your life left a void. You won't ever forget her, obviously, but you can work on "moving on". Just work on filling that void. Not with somebody else, necessarily, but with other things. Keep busy. Get stuff done. Stay social. Meet new people. Keep living your life, and her memory will take care of itself. Lex
So I've spent the last few years trying to forget about the first, and only, guy I ever fell in love with (my very straight college roommate). Lex is right, I don't think you ever really forget. But, the thing that helped me the most was moving. It was impossible for me to get over him while we were living together, and seeing each other all the time and being surrounded by the places/things that we had in common. But once I moved the new surroundings and new people helped me to move on. I would suggest trying to focus on the future, and your move. I'd be willing to bet the change of scenery will help you change your perspective. It's the only thing that ever helped me.
People go through a sort of grieving process when a relationship ends. First you cry..a lot. Then you get angry,like you seem to be,now. Finally you accept it for what it was and move on. At least this is how I felt when my relationship that meant the most to me ended. I don't have to tell you that time helps,too. The farther away it gets,the easier it gets. I think you'll do fine. Like others said, keep busy and have fun.
