I think that I am at a point where I am at least close to ready to have a conversation with my closest friend. I have been wrestling with understanding and accepting that I am not straight for a couple months now. I'm still unclear exactly of my sexuality falls on the scale of straight to gay but I have narrowed it down to somewhere between bi and gay. I think I'm leaning towards gay though. I'm scared to death of starting the conversation but I feel that it is important that I do. I want to have this conversation with my friend because I feel it will help make me feel more secure in my sexuality. I plan to tell him exactly what I have said on here, "I'm definitely not straight. I'm somewhere in between bi and gay and I'm leaning more towards gay. Now I revel at the chance to have a deep, serious conversation, but his takes it to a whole knew level. I have no idea how to initiate and have a such a serious conversation about such a serious topic with someone who is not fond of serious conversation. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/179670-how-long-until-you-came-out.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/179247-what-do.html
So a couple weeks ago I was in the same situation you are in. I came out to my best friend. i was very nervous because i didn't know how to start this conversation. shes the only person i have had this conversation with. but anyways i invited her out to dinner, we had a good time but the entire time though, i was thinking about how to tell her i am bi. when we got into the car i looked at her and said hey i have something to tell you ( i started to get choked up). then i just pretty much told myself fuck it and to just come out and say it. so i told her my situation. i started off with saying how much I trust her and how much of a relief it was to tell her something that i've been hiding for a few years. but yea thats pretty much how i did it. and to answer your question I started having feelings for guys around the age of 13 but i kinda ignored it untill recently, when i was 18 i started college away from home so i was living on my own. during that time i when i started dating guys (secretly).I dated a few girls throughout high school as well but It sucked because i wasnt confident enough to tell anyone. i am 21 now and the past few months i started accepting the fact that i am bi. now in your situation In my opinion, i think you have to tell your friend that it's a serious situation, if they really care about you then they'll hear you out. I wish you good look because it not an easy think to come out to anyone. I hope this helps in a way. sorry if this is all over the place. this is my first time replying to someones post.
Take him with you to some nice place outdoors where you can talk without worrying about the conversation being overheard, such as a park. Take a Frisbee or football with you so you have something you can do to relieve the tension. Then just tell him that there is something you want to tell him, because he is your best friend. When he asks you what it is, tell him that think you might be gay, or mostly gay, and you need to talk about it with someone you trust to keep it a secret until you figure it out, because you don't know exactly how you feel about it. Or in other words, just tell him the truth, and trust him to help you through the confusion.
Hi Nick1020 As Yossarian said,take him somewhere casual but private and just tell him the truth.Although this is an important conversation,I would say keep it as simple as possible and don't make it into big thing.In my experience I have found that if you don't make it a big issue,then neither does the person that you are coming out to. Also remember to let him know he is the only person you have told and ask him to keep it to himself until you are ready to come out any further. Good luck
I had the perfect opportunity and I couldn't get the words out. My plan is to just drop it into conversation semi-anecdotally. I have been told that this is best because if you don't dramatize it they won't either. We were in the car riding having a moderately serious yet still casual conversation. Suddenly, the conversation turned to a topic where I could easily drop in my coming out. I knew this was the perfect opportunity. I had my words all together in my head and I just couldn't get them out of my mouth. I let the conversation move off to a different topic where I could no longer 'drop the bomb'. The scene was set, I heard my cue and I froze. How can I avoid doing this next time the opportunity presents itself. I don't want this to be a giant production. How could a create a moderately serious yet casual environment where I could just slip it into conversation that I'm not straight and am probably gay? ---------- Post added 1st Jun 2015 at 11:34 PM ---------- I don't really want to do it by way of letter or email either. To me those methods are a show of weakness. It is far better to tell someone something like this in person.
Hi Nick, Many people are not completely straight or completely gay. They may be mostly gay or mostly straight. The kinsey scale might hetlp you get more comfortable with your sexuality. One of the first times I told someone I was gay the words just got stuck in my throat. I hmm and hawed around until I finally said it "I'm gay.":eusa_doh:
Set it up as a "I've got something I want to talk to you about" meetup, so that he is going to press you about what you wanted to tell him. "I've got something I want to talk to you about; let's take a frisbee to the park, I'll bring some beer and snacks, and we can talk about it there while we catch some rays."
