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Does shyness have any correlation to sexual orientation?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SubZero, May 31, 2015.

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  1. SubZero

    SubZero
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    I just recently came out to my aunt and cousin and they were really supportive about it. When I first came out to them, they were quite shocked. After a few days of thinking, however, they said that it actually isn't that much of a shock anymore and that it kind of makes sense. They saw me grow up as a kid and noticed that I was always "different".

    They said that I don't speak "gay" or act "gay", but I was always quite shy and sensitive. Also, they pointed out that my brother and I are complete opposites (he's very buff/"macho", into sports, and outgoing...while I'm more of an introvert/reserved, not into sports, and quite shy).

    My aunt admitted that she has thought about me possibly being gay in the past while I was growing up simply because I was shy kid. I'm not that shy anymore, but I was and I didn't have many friends as a kid/teen growing up.

    So, my question is: is my aunt right by making that assumption? Does being shy correlate with one's sexual orientation?
     
    #1 SubZero, May 31, 2015
  2. XenaxGabby

    XenaxGabby
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    No. There are plenty of straight people who are shy too. Shyness is a personality trait, being gay is not.
     
    #2 XenaxGabby, May 31, 2015
  3. bubbles123

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    I don't think it does that much. There are plenty of very extroverted people who are queer.
     
    #3 bubbles123, May 31, 2015
  4. Christiaan

    Christiaan Guest

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    Only if it's xq28-related. Otherwise, if you're really shy, it probably is unrelated to you being gay. Oh...and...

    Xq28 - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Not all gay people have the xq28 phenotype, so if you're not willing to go and get tested for it, then I suggest just enjoying being who you are, which is a sweet, shy gay man. Anyone who wouldn't love you would kick a kitten, so my advice is just don't worry about it. It really doesn't matter whether or not there is any connection. Believe me, you will find gay men who are so extroverted and arrogant that it will make you nauseous. Just be you, dude. It's really a lot easier than doing it wrong.
     
    #4 Christiaan, May 31, 2015
  5. Chip

    Chip
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    There's definitely no correlation I'm aware of in any of the psych literature between shyness and homosexuality.

    That said, there is some correlation between being emotionally sensitive and having an affinity for art and creativity among many (but certainly not all) gay men. Hence the commonly-used phrase "It takes a fag to make things look pretty."

    But there are plenty of gay men who have no fashion sense and no emotional sensitivity as well. So while we do know that a disproportionate number of men in certain creative fields are gay, we also know there are plenty of gay men that defy the stereotypes, so we can't really make any generalizations that apply to everyone.
     
    #5 Chip, May 31, 2015
  6. kloulou

    kloulou Guest

    Not all 'buff/macho' guys are straight and not all shy and sensitive guys are gay. Everyone is different. They make think this because they are more familiar with gay stereotypes and how media generally presents gays. True, many gays may act in a 'gay' way but it doesn't mean all act like that and it definitely doesn't mean all shy and sensitive guys are gay. You are you :slight_smile:
     
    #6 kloulou, May 31, 2015
  7. Images and Words

    Images and Words
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    I would say there is no correlation whatsoever. Chip gave a great explanation.
     
    #7 Images and Words, May 31, 2015
  8. mangotree

    mangotree
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    If being lgbt was a major source of internal shame for them, then I think that would certainly make a person a bit MORE socially anxious or shy than they would have been otherwise.
     
    #8 mangotree, May 31, 2015
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