By 'it' I mean this whole liking girls thing. I'm still questioning whether I'm gay/bisexual or not even though I've kinda known that I've had feelings for girls for 4 years now. I don't really want to be gay but I just can't resist thinking about really cute girls who are so sweet and adorable it's just ugh. There's also this thing (?) where I kinda get a lil bit of the hots for really attractive guys but I can't imagine myself being with a guy per se. I wanna know if this could be a phase cause one of my friends told me that I should tell my parents about this but I just really wanna make sure that I am in fact gay-ish. My parents are kind of conservative and I'd heard some hurtful things come out of my mother's mouth. So, I don't want to come out and then like marry a guy without dating girls when I'm 25. :icon_redf
Worrying about labels will ultimately distract you from figuring out who you are really into. If you find a girl you like and want to go for it then do it! If later in life you end up with a guy then I don't think your family would have any complaints. It's better to have and not want than to always yearn for the thing you won't let yourself have. Idk the fact that you find some of the stuff your mom says hurtful and that you are concerned about this is not typically a straight thing, but then again I'm only 20 what do I know? You might want to look into some gay culture and see if you can relate to anything. I recommend watching South of Nowhere or Anyone But Me, you can find them both on youtube.
If you like girls then chances are you're some kind of not straight. Coming out is totally up to you though! You said you didn't want to be gay. Why do you feel this way? I think you should probably spend some time figuring things out a bit before you come out to anyone, but you said you've had feeling towards girls for 4 years. I think you may be at the point where you know you're gay, but you haven't accepted it. You said that you were scared of coming out and then marrying a man without dating any girls. It's okay to make mistakes. Sexuality is fluid, and if you find out that it was "just a phase" then whatever. Just because something is a phase doesn't mean it's not important now. How you feel now is the most important thing. Everything in life is a phase!
It is possible to find guys attractive yet not feel comfortable with them sexually or in a relationship sense. Just try not to overthink it all too much and try to be open with yourself about your feelings. It's good that you have a friend to talk to about this too and it's okay to just be out to one or two people (or no one at all if you're not ready). You certainly don't have to tell your parents right away but don't let them not knowing and their opinions stop you from exploring these feelings more. It's important that you investigate these feelings now rather than pushing them away and then finding out you might not like guys when it's too late. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to do anything, but remember you can't force yourself to feel or not feel a certain way just because you want to. I hope this helps and good luck<3
From what you've said (and the fact that you're on here asking) - you're not 100% straight That fact alone gives you the freedom to follow your heart - whichever way it goes. You can come out to who you want, when you want. If you're really busting to tell your parents, friends etc... then do it. If not, then wait until you ARE busting to tell them.
