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please! please! help me!!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by donnie5, Dec 4, 2008.

  1. donnie5

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    my sister and i take alot of drugs on not gonna lie but thats not the point of this message the point of this message is that my sister has a three year old daughter and she cant help but go and get :***: up on the weekends and now pretty much everyday of the week and it pisses me off so bad cause there is nothing i CAN DO ABOUT IT and that maeks even more mad what should i do?
     
  2. Trystan

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    This might come out as complete rubbish but...

    you need to force her to open her eyes as to what she's doing to herself and to her child - if she cannot look after her now, it will mess her future up, and the harsh reality is, if anyone knows about this, she will not be allowed to keep her daughter. Just get her to think about that.

    Possibly you could go cold with her - both give up drugs together. It'll give her someone to work with, talk to and have support from. As her daughter's uncle, I think it is perhaps as much your responsibility to look after her girl as it is hers - if she's struggling, then help her. Of course, we don't know her and don't know what you've already tried, so I'm just saying stuff I think could possibly help.
     
  3. Tim

    Tim
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    Stopping drugs cold turkey is actually a bad idea. My mom works in a program for recovering addicts, and trust me, the side effects from quitting cold turkey tend to be worse than slowly going off them.

    Try to see if there's a recovery program in town, they're normally at the local churches, from what I've seen. It's kind've like Alcohol's Anonymous, but for more than just alcohol.

    However, asking her to quit, but then not quitting yourself will make it worse. If you want her to quit, she needs support, and doing the things she needs to get away from doesn't show that.
     
  4. beckyg

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    You have to be a good example for your sister. Tell her you will do this with her and BOTH of you go to a support group together. Giving up an addiction is very difficult but it is easier if you have someone to do it with. Tell your sister that you love her and your niece and you want her to grow up healthy and happy. Do it for her!
     
  5. Jim1454

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    Yes - the fact that you both do drugs in fact IS the point of this thread.

    You both need to stop, for the sake of your family. Now. Join a 12 step program and get clean. It's the only way.

    And if neither of you are capable of doing that, perhaps child welfare services needs to be contacted for the safety and protection of your neice.

    Having been in a 12 step program for a couple of years, I can help explain what it's all about if you'd like. Send me a PM to discuss. Thanks.
     
  6. xequar

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    Everyone else has already said it, but it bears repeating. If you want your sister to get clean, you'll need to get clean too.
     
  7. Pendrin2020

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    My name is pendrin and I am an Addict.

    Perhaps you should make a call to al-anon or maybe Narcotics Anonymous. It's possible that she has all the makings of a serious problem. I'd know. I did the same things, and I didn't even have a kid. I lived off of my friends and family for years and all they did was let me do it. A call to Al-anon is definitely suggested. Al-Anon is a support group for the families of addicts and alcoholics. they would be able to give you better advice than I can.

    But please, do try to find her some help. You can't see it through the tornado that is the addict's life, but each and every day is the most painful experience of our lives until we get help. If we don't have drugs, we become irritable, and restless on the outside. But on the inside, we are dying to find a way to fix the pain. It gets to a point that we don't even think we feel the pain because it has been there so long. All we know is that everything feels better when we are high, or drunk.

    If there is even the remote possibility that your sister might be an addict, which your post in all of its brevity more or less says, I beg you.... I beg you, call for help. It can only go downhill from here. I leaned the hard way.

    I started out just smoking some weed every now and again, then I was drinking every weekend, and then it moved over to other things more frequently. Soon getting messed up was more important than my family. And all of the while I was killing myself trying to make drugs and a normal life work. It wasn't the drugs that was causing the problem. It was me. Some people (like myself) have psychological allergies to various mind altering substances that usually end up being the "drugs of choice" the difference between the addict and the average user is that the average user can stop if a doctor says to, or they fall in love with someone who doesn't like it, or any other legitimate reason to quite comes into play. The addict simply cannot put down their drug of choice permanently. some of us can quite for years if we have an obsession to take it's place, but none of us can stop entirely.

    At least that's how it went for me. I had to hit bottom hard. I was 19 years old and I had lost a paid-for car, multiple jobs, thousands of dollars in hard earned money, and all of my self respect and dignity, all in the space of six months. Everything that I said would never happen to me for years when I was using... did.

    I reached out and got some help. and life is still life. I wake up and go to work, listen to the boss bitch and do my job. but I don't care that the boss is bitching now. I don't care that people are still doing the crazy stuff to me that they always did. I don't care that I'm not getting paid what I used to. that stuff just isn't as important anymore.

    For god's sake, I'm happy. I never thought it was possible. EVER. But today, I am honestly happy, and I don't need a pipe, a paper, or a few lines to get there. I am just Happy.

    All I had to do was reach out for help.

    I can't tell you what to do. My suggestions from the top of the page still stand. But please, at least do something for the child.