I dress and act like girl so it's always a surprise whenever I tell someone I'm bi. What I want to ask is this close friend I have. She's was already my friend during my "I-gotta-fight-whatever-this-weird-feeling-is!" years so she's confident I'm straight. So this friend is very touchy with me... like VERY touchy. I dont really mind it tho, I'm used to it... It's just that I kinda I feel unfair that she doesnt know that I'm bi yet there she goes hugging and touching whenever she wants to. So should I tell her and be fair or just let her do whatever she wants to do because I would like to keep this from my very religious family for now. I'm not touching her back btw. She's like family to me. If you guys think I'm unfair to her then I should make a decision. I'd appreciate any advice you guys give!
If you don't want the behavior to change or things to be different I wouldn't say anything, if you are comfortable with things being different than are now then I would say go for it I don't think you are being unfair at all. The way I see it is you can take the jump and tell your friend and there's a chance that it doesn't change a thing but you need to be prepared so that if it does change the was she treats you your atleast ready for it.
If you want to tell her, you should. If you're thinking of coming out to her because you think it's unfair, that's not quite as good a reason (though it is a respectful one and I get where you're coming from). I don't think you're being unfair, and you don't owe it to her to come out before you're comfortable doing so. So long as you're not touching her sexually with something else in mind, I don't think it's any different from two straight girls being physically affectionate. My best friend thought I was straight for the first four years we knew each other. We slept in the same bed, hugged and held hands and tickled each other half to death and called each other awfully sappy pet names I'd never even say to a romantic partner. Now that I'm out to her, that hasn't changed a bit.
Thank you for the wonderful advice guys! I guess my biggest fear is when things will change between us and she'll feel uncomfortable moving forward. Worst is she migt think I've taken advantage of my situation. I'm really not ready yet. But I want this coming out to my family business go at one fell swoop. And I hope when that time comes nothing will change between us. Thank you for the help rainbowbrite and lyana this made me feel better.
