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Coming out to Childhood friend...??

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by thete, Jun 3, 2015.

  1. thete

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2015
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hello everyone! I've been trying to find a way to come out to my two best childhood friends for a few years now, but I've always found convenient ways of putting it off. I've been away at college for a year now and now that I've been out and on my own, I feel a lot more secure and comfortable in my sexuality.

    However since I've been away for a year now, I've also been keeping a lot of things from them. I'm heading home for the summer soon and I think that I'm finally ready to tell them the truth. I think that both of them will be supportive because they aren't homophobic, but a small part of me is still afraid that this will somehow change something between us, and that terrifies me. I don't want them to think of me any differently.

    One of the two friends is trans himself and someone who I have known since I was a baby, so it seems like he would have been the first person that I came out to. However, I find it very difficult to approach the topic. We've known each other for so long and he's very open on social media/tumblr about his sexuality and gender, so he never needed to "come out" to me like this. I'm more private and feel like I owe it to him to tell him in person, but it seems like it would be so much easier to just send him a message instead. I honestly think that he has no idea that I'm a lesbian because I don't present myself as a stereotypical gay woman.

    The other friend is straight and has always been very open about talking about her own relationships. When we were young she would ask me why I didn't like any of the guys in our class and I never put things together that I could be gay until she had stopped asking. Sometimes I think that she knew that I was a lesbian before I did, but the topic has never come up since then and I don't want us to fall apart because of these secrets.

    How do you recommend I approach the subject to these two friends? I find it easier to write my thoughts down but I know that speaking in person is usually better. I'm just so tired of feeling anxious and sick around them when the subject of boyfriends comes up... I don't want to keep this a secret any longer. Help?
     
  2. Wolf of The Baltic

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2014
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Dear friend,

    First, coming out is not a race. Take it at you own pace. I've said that to many people here and it still holds true. Secound your trans friend would be a little hard than your other friend. For your trans friend you can slip in casual hints and if she/he doesn't pick up then make'm bigger hints. For your striaght friend this will be simple since you told me of that story between you two. When you talk to her say something like,"hey remember when you asked me why I don't like any of the guys is because I'm lesbian". Or something like that. Lastly I want you to know that I am here for you if you need me.

    Cares and the best wishes,
    Wolf of The Baltic