I came out to my best friend on Wednesday. I told him that I'm not straight, that I find men and women attractive, and that I would date any gender. The day of he was totally cool, acted how he was supposed to, didn't ask the wrong questions, couldn't have gone better. however, today, we were talking things through some more and the conversation took a quick turn. He began asking questions like, "How do you know if you've never been with either? Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you know sooner? Why are you just figuring this out? Is this because <girl a> and <girl b> wouldn't go to the dance with you?" He was clearly confused, uncomfortable and had no idea how to approach the situation. Throughout the whole conversation he continued to make crude and distasteful jokes. I know he didn't mean it but that doesn't excuse the fact. He kept getting hung up on the fact that dudes are included in who I like. At one point he became so uncomfortable that he sat facing the corner making his computer talk for him. I was so sad after Wednesday had gone so well. I could hardly speak to him because as I would speak he would tell me to stop, make a joke, or ask another question. I got him to stop for a second but even then I couldn't get him to look me in the eyes. I understand that being uncomfortable is his problem not mine, but there is no reason for him to be so immature about it. I have since told two of the people in our friend group and asked them to talk to him. Is there anything I can say next time I see him? I thought he was totally cool with everything but 24 hours later he flipped.
Dear friend, This quite the troubling situation you have gotten youreself into. I have a few ideas you may use. You should tell him that he is being immature. I doesn't make sence to sit around and let him still do his same old same old. However waiting can help as well. If you give him time he might come around. Plus something might've happens in those 24 hours. I think you should sit him down and have a stern, professional, and serious talk about you and the way he has been acting. If there is any other way I can help please ask. My best wishes Wolf of The Baltic
Give him some time for the novelty of your announcement to wear off, and think about the questions he was asking and what your answer could be when you resume conversation with him. He may be under the impression that you have something going for him and doesn't know how to handle it. You might want to make that clear the next time you see him.
I came out to a close friend as well and after a few days, when we were drunk, he told me that he thought I loved him as more than a friend. I don't and never have. Frankly, I never will. I'm not into him like that. A few weeks later he told me that he wasn't sure if I liked guys anymore and that he couldn't remember, which is really annoying because he could tell I was nervous when I bought it up. I cleared it up immediately and now I don't to speak about this topic anymore with him. Just because I'm bi (I'm gay but came out as bi at that point because I thought it would be easier for me and everyone else to digest) doesn't mean I like every male I see. I'm getting sick of people having that mindset. I think I'm going to not tell people unless they ask, once my living situation changes. Perhaps it will be easier to just do it. It's clearly something others don't want to talk about. To each his own, but that's what I would do.
