Basically, we are forbidded to be together. It has been like this for over a year. We are 16 and he will be 17 in a month. Children services and the police were involved multiple times, each time we were yelled at and he was told to obey his parents no matter what. They beat him quite often leaving marks, resulting in a suicide attempt which led to him being forced to see a psychiatrist. Well whenever his parents beat him, they would call him in sick to his next appointment so he couldn't say anything. Since July, I've been getting Children services involved, they made a visit to his home and deamed it to be an appropriate living condition, although he had a gash in his head. I suppose my friend must have withheld information for their protection eh? Well nothing got any better. Most recently, he ran away and was threatened to be shipped to Virginia to live with his father who hasn't seen or talked to in 9 years. So he went to seek alternatives, but on his attempts he was arrested and had to return home. Now I suppose he's given up, but I haven't. I had teachers call children services, and well we talked to a really profesional nice guy, who assured us he would do something. my friend told me he has had enough this past year, so I figured he'd cooperate, since he was seeking alternatives to begin with. Now his family told him he could stay but he has to break up with me. I already called children services though, and I still believe its the best choice for him, since he is a medicated depressed, abused kid. He says if I truly loved him I wouldn't call them, but I already did. I have a feeling he is going to deny everything to children services and continue to live with his parents whom abused him since he came out over a year ago. I suppose you cant help someone who refuses to be helped. He told me that he shouldn't try to see me anymore until hes an adult which is only a year away, and he plans to call me on speakerphone to pretend to break up with me for his parents. We will never actually be together till a year, but he wants me to still be his boyfriend now even though he's denying my attempts to help him and denying our love to please his parents. I do not know if I can though. I truly love him though, and he has to know that, afterall I am the straight A student who had to miss my classes to calm him and try to find an alternative to moving from Ohio to Virginia when he felt threatened. He said if I truly loved him, that I wouldn't do anything. Well I already did something and even if he had told me before, I still would have, because I know he is abused and a threat to himself when depressed. I believe if he truly loved me he would understand where I'm coming from and would consider the help my teachers and myself are trying to give him. What do you think? 7 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer. Additional Details 5 minutes ago Heres a question he asked a few months ago http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;... 4 minutes ago Also, I love him and I'm willing to wait, but is it a smart thing to do? If he is denying me now, what would stop him later when he is an adult? or should I just have faith in us. I'd like any honest opinions on this. I've considered alot of things. 2 minutes ago Btw, I am not leaving yahoo answers to make my decision, I am just curious of everybodies opinions. I originally posted this on yahoo answers for advice and opinions, but I thought this website might be a little more helpful. I love Vince, and I would do anything for him, but is waiting correct? He has legal options and many of peoples' support. He shouldn't continue to live in an abusive home should he? I want to wait for him, but my teachers are concerned, especially since hes asking me to continue to be his bf now, even though we aren't together, and he refuses to help himself. This is taking a toll on me. My friends and teachers have noticed a change in my attitude and are very concerned. This is extremely stressful and I don't know if I can hande the label "boyfriend" if he isn't even trying to help. I would promice to try my hear out to wait for a year, but what if nothing changes? And where will I be psychologically by then? Will I still be my happy normal self? and what would change him from trying to please his parents while hes gone? I'm just so unsure. I'm just curious about some of you guys' opinions on this.
well I think I found the answer my own question. I love him. More than I've ever loved another person in my life. If anything, he needs me now more than ever! He's in a dark confused place, and I will stick by his side as long as he wants me, whether it is smart of not. I will be fine, and I will be able to tell myself that I've honestly did everything I could for him. Okay, now I'm having a new though... Is waiting for him a bad thing? I mean, If I remain in his life and turn out to still be his bf in a year and a half, would I have commited a horrible crime in the sense that I ruined his family life? He has a chance to fix things. They aren't always horrible towards him, they only ever are whenever he speaks of his boyfriend, aka me. Because in one of his journals he basically implied his mother as the reason for his suicide attempt and me being the reason he held on so long. But this doesn't make sense. As long as he choses a guy, I'm sure reguardless of who it is, she'd find a reason to hate him. Crap. I'm back in confusion =/
I don't think that parents have any real reason to abuse their child; there are no circumstances that I think that is ok. I don't think that you should blame yourself for tearing his family apart because if it wasn't you, it would have been someone else. Your boyfriend is gay and it seems like his parents are abusing him for being gay. Not only have they abused him, they have also put his life at risk by making things so bad for him that he has seriously considered suicide. That just says how bad a place it is for him. You might get blamed for messing things up, but I personally could never live with myself if I let the abuse continue any longer. Ultimately it is your decision what you do, I'm just telling my opinion. Feel free to contact me to talk more. I hope the situation gets resloved soon.
