Hey guys, I'm not new.. but oh well xD Anyway, I've been planning to come out this summer ever since I found that I'm gay since December.. All of my friends and 2 cousins know that I'm a lesbian. And they all fully support me! After I found that I was gay... I texted my lesbian cousin around February.. And she agreed to help me come out to my mom first. I was originally planning to come out this month.. But I'm not very sure on how to start. I'm planning to sit down with my mom with my cousin and set up a camera secretly. At first, I'll start explaining things to my mom and finally tell her. Hopefully it will go well.. ;-; About my dad... I'm waiting until I'm 18 to finally come out to him. I know that for a fact that he will probably kick me out... because he's completely against LGBTs! QnQ Would you guys post down below some ideas on how to come out to my mom for now? She will get uncomfortable at first and will start asking me questions.. But it will take a while for her to get used to the idea... :'( But I know that she won't kick me out, at all. I'll probably come out to my grandmother as well. Thank you guys so much.. (&&&)
it's great that the people you have previously come out to support you, however - i do hope you realise that there is the possibility of your mom telling your dad ... even if you trust her, she could always accidentally say it over, for example, a phone call. (sorry for scaremongering you ??) to start off the conversation, i'd advise sitting her down - at a time she seems quite happy - and tell her how much you love her, what a great mom she is, etc. this will make her think positively and may influence on what her reaction to your coming out would be. there's the classic baking a cake, there is having a party, a coming out in a joke, so many ways to tell her that don't have to be serious. i hope that it goes well and that when you decide to come out to your father, he can see past his beliefs and accept you. (*hug*)
I agree that you should pick your moment with care. Choose a time when your mom is not rushing around or stressed. Friday evenings are often good, because if a parent works, they may have the whole weekend off to process their feelings. When you tell your mom, try to get to the point as quickly as possible. It can be very difficult to say the three words -- I am gay (lesbian/bi) and it will become harder still if you go for a long build up. I'm not suggesting you come straight out with it, because it will be a huge shock for your mom if you do, but a long preamble will allow time for the emotion to build and you really don't want that either. You don't want your mom to think that you are upset about being a lesbian, so try your best to stay calm and level headed. Maybe you could do a practice run with your cousin? Think about the questions she might ask and prepare your answers. She will probably ask how long you have known for and if you are dating, but she may ask more obscure, or even silly questions. Try to cover as many bases as possible and don't react badly to any questions she asks. You need to inform her well, so a bad reaction from you will set the tone for a painful coming out experience. If your mom struggles to accept what you tell her, give her time and space to process her thoughts and feelings. We have plenty of time to privately reach a point of self acceptance, but our parents have no time at all to prepare and it can stun them. I would suggest you have the contact details for PFLAG to hand, so your mom has a place to go to for advice and support. PFLAG National It's great that you have the support of your friends and cousin. Building up a support network is a really good idea. Let us know how it goes with your mom.
