I'm currently attending college out of state, and I am having some issues with a few friends. I wanted to know other people's perspectives on the situation. Let me know what your views are. The problem is, it seems as if everybody here is obsessed with drugs and/or alcohol. I am a firm believer in what I liked to call "a clean body", meaning that I don't drink, smoke, or do any drugs. Also, for the most part, I try to eat healthy. Does this seem to unusual? It seems like more times than not, I am the only one who believes this. Mind you, I don't have an issue with someone who smokes, or drinks in moderation. However, I do have a huge issue with drugs, especially abuse of over-the-counter medications. My best friend on campus, my roommate, and I were all watching TV when my roommate goes "Want some candy?" He immediately pulls out a bag of Benadryl. :dry: Ironically, at the time, I was surfing around the EC. I look away for one moment, and look back, and my friend is taking a giant swig of water. I now noticed the bag was empty. My other roommate walks in, and my friend starts bragging about how they just took 500mg of Benadryl each, as if it was "cool". I got pissed. I have had a talk with my friend before about drugs, how I don't do them, and I how I disprove of them. She has told me she doesn't do drugs, and doesn't plan on it any time soon. So why is it, that she found it a good idea to use an over-the-counter medication for recreational use? Besides, she has been mentioned other drugs, such as weed, a lot lately. I'm really concerned. I have seen drugs and alcohol both tear down many of my friends back home, and even people in my own family. I'm sick of it. I love her to death, as a friend, and I hate for this "fun" to become something more serious. Her and my roommate step out for a smoke. After a few hours pass, my roommate returns, having a hard time walking, and immediately passes out in bed. My friend is nowhere in sight. :icon_sad: Besides the issue I have with my friend, there is a guy on campus I really like. He has been in a few of my classes, and we have talked, and we both have hung out before. He's really cool, very funny, and very attractive. However, there is his drug and alcohol problem. Again. It strikes. He has mentioned before about how he often times gets high while at home, and crazy parties he's gotten drunk at before (which often end in promiscuous sex). However, while I campus it seems like he has been behaving himself. Which showed me he was capable of being sober. Then I was on Facebook. "J---is hanging out with Jimmy, tonight. " Who is Jimmy? This campus, mind you, is relatively small. I know of no one named Jimmy, or James for the matter. I look into his other status updates. "J--- is with Jimmy for MISE EN PLACE!" Mise en place? What. In my mind it means "everything in place". I look into it further, and soon I find someone commented on it as "He sure throws one heck of a party". Then it become clear. In class once I heard him say he was going to "mise en place tonight". Later to find out he got high with a couple friends. I searched his friends for Jimmy. Nonetheless I find a Jimmy that lives here in the city, that does not go to our campus. I became jealous. Jimmy's picture was of him shirtless, and I must say, he was attractive. I already have a clear image in my mind of what the two were doing. It needed no further explanation. Even beyond these two examples, it seems as if the people on this campus are so obsessed with getting high or drunk, and it's annoying. Often times on weekends my other two roommates will stumble in drunk, and continue to be loud and rowdy into the pre-dawn light. So, after you have completed reading my novel, I ask you: Why are people so caught up in drugs and alcohol? What is the attraction? Why do people have some fascination with it, and why do they let it control their lives? From what I've witnessed before, and now, are there any gay guys who do not do drugs or alcohol? Am I the only one?
some times people use substances to just have fun and to experience a little of life they may not have before. I know that's the only reason I drink - to have fun. I know that's the only reason I'm allowing a friend of mine to get me high on weed in a few weeks - because I've never ever done drugs and she's going to show me how to do it as safely as possible. Some people use it to drown out the problems in their lives or to fit in with the crowd. Also - some people are more predisposed to drinking/drug abuse then others - some people can be sick and use alcohol or drugs to combat that. Some people are abusing over-the-counter drugs because they believe they are safe. They are not if you take an overdose. it is not only gay people who do drugs and alcohol - but I doubt very much you're the only one who does not. Chin up and hang in there.
Who is to say fun cannot be had being sober? I know I certainly have had my fair share of fun. I'm sorry, but if you run to drugs or alcohol to hide from your problems you're not fixing the situation, only worsen it.
Well, speaking from my own experience, I drink a lot of alcohol because it's fun, you get caught up in stupid stuff, and when you and your friends are discussing how you fell in a hedge, rode inflatables down the stairs and made out with a total freak it's funny. I smoke because i just kinda got caught up in it an it's relaxing, Drugs i've tried are weed, ketamine, ecstasy and cocaine. Weed made me sleep, ket made me think i was haunted, coke makes me a dick, and ecstasy has given some of the most wild amazing love filled nights of my life. Yes all substances are bad for you if you cane it 24/7, and some are very addictive, but in moderation, if you are the sort of person who can recreationally drink and take stuff occasionally, and are well informed of the risks, then i don't really see the problem. coke, heroin and Ice are the life ruiners, so it's best to avoid them, but everything else in between need not be addictive, and people only fuck up if they take too much, or take it with something that reacts badly, if you are well informed and know what you are doing, the risks are no more than those of drinking, which again if you drink too much can kill you. If you choose to have a clean body, then good on you, it's very comendable, but i don't think you're friends are necessarily slinging their livelihood away because they like a drink and whatever else, unfortunately people who like drink and drugs...etc are kinda difficult to hang around with if you don't yourself. So you could try socialising with other people like yourself and have a more likeminded circle of friends, without having to lose the close friends you have now that you clearly value. essentially my advice is, be there for the people you love, but consider that what they are doing isn't necessarily as life endingly wrong as it is often portrayed, make no mistake it can be, but like most things, caution and moderation make a big difference.
I don't drink, smoke, or take drugs, and I plan never to start. I understand why some people, including some of my friends and/or family do do it. I just don't want to. I'd rather be in control of my body, aware of myself, and having a good time because I'm actually having a good time, rather than because some drug is making me unaware of the situation. Also, I'd quite like not to get liver damage, lung cancer, or schizophrenia. Or a debilitating addiction, or a massive drain on the bank. Or accidentally kill myself. So I'd say there are lots of good reasons to stay clean.
Thank you. I completely agree with you. ColdSnap, Drugs alter your perception, and regardless of how you think you can control yourself, when you're high, you can be pressured into doing almost anything. Which is what makes drugs so dangerous. I'd rather not get high, and have someone trick me into doing something I would regret.
It's not weird to not do drugs, smoke, or drink. I am a firm advocate of living without said mind altering substances. The reasons I have for not doing those things come from many different sources. I don't smoke because most of the people in my family smoke. My grandfather had emphysema from it and died, my aunt was diagnosed with it, my mother has had a hell of a time quitting, and my father smokes like a damn chimney. I plan on playing sports so having trouble breathing isn't exactly going to help, right? I don't drink because my dad is an alcoholic. He drinks a lot, and that's not an understatement, either. I don't plan on drinking because I don't want to end up like him. Several members of my mom's side of the family are also alcoholics. Plus, under the influence of alcohol, you lose your inhibitions and end up in situations that you would normally never put yourself in. You also do things that you would never normally do. One of my cousins got drunk and decided to drive home. He got into a head on collision and killed an elderly woman. He is currently serving eight years in prison. With no chance of parole or getting out on good behavior. He permantly lost his driver's license and can never drive (legally) again. I don't illegal drugs because, well, they are illegal. My cousin was a great hockey player, even had a full ride to BGSU to play and he screwed it up by getting into drugs. Also, they adversely affect your body. They can cause all kinds of diseases and you can even OD the first time you do them (inhalants, anyone?). Next, my school does drug testing for sports, and if I'm loaded on some form of drugs, I can't play and I'll be shipped to juvie for the mandatory 90 day sentence. However, there is one main reason that ties my abstinence from drugs, tobacco, and alcohol together. I believe that my body is something that should remain sacred, not like, never having sex, but not damaging it with foreign substances. I believe in order to be healthy you have to have a healthy mind, body, and spirit. You miss one side of the pyramid if you do drugs, smoke, or drink. Keeping my body healthy is something that is extremely important to me.
Drugs like LSD do yes, and if you drink/take too much of anything else it can get you a bit out of your head, but i think the degree of mind alteration is sometime a bit exaggerated, not all drugs are hallucinogens. Make no mistake, I entirely commend you for not wanting to involve yourself in any of those things, after all it isn't healthy, and it does have it's risks. All i'm saying is sometimes the risks are exaggerated, and i wouldn't want to see you and your friends fall out over it. I used to be the same as you, very staunch anti drugs policy, then when one of my friends kept bothering me to try some ecstasy i caved, and loved it. I'm not the sort of person to write something off without trying it, i'd probably be a neurotic 'straight' boy if i was but i know the risks and am careful, on the rare occasions that i do take drugs. you are totally right for not wanting to try it, some people don't, some people do, some people can manage it, some people can't, it's all about your personality at the end of the day, and whatever is right for you, that doesn't damage the people around you, is fine by me.
Hi there. I can sympathize with your situation. It can't be fun to have people hanging around and disturbing you while they're engaging in behaviours that you don't approve of. I'm curious to know why you are room mates with them? Is this your first year? I think you're being exposed to the 'wrong crowd'. Surely there are people on campus that share your outlook on things - you just need to look for them. You might also need to lighten up just a little. Take a 'to each their own' attitude. In fairness, if you've never tried these things, then you can't really judge how it feels or how much of an impact it might be having on your friends. I've never taken drugs, but I did drink in university - sometimes in excess. Thankfully I never was hurt or hurt anyone else - it was just in good fun. That was 15, 16, 17 years ago... so perhaps I can't relate to university life now. Taking Benelyn for fun doesn't really sound like fun to me. At the same time, my attitude towards doing 'the right thing' all the time also led me to deny my orientation - as it was perceived as 'not right' at the time. And I ended up messed up anyway - not addicted to a substance but to a behaviour. So sometimes taking a hard stance on things catches up with you. If there's an opportunity for you to move, maybe you should. Find some kind of group on campus that shares similar values as you. And no - not all gay guys are alcoholics and drug addicts. I'm not. Nor is my bf. We're both professionals - an accountant and a university professor.
I don't, and never have, done any of the above, and don't intend to start any time soon. I grew up with a family of alcoholics, and have no desire to get on that bandwagon. Similarly, I don't see the attraction to altering one's consciousness. I don't presume to tell anyone else what they should do. But, at the same time I never involved myself with that part of my friends' lives. Sure, I know they're out getting shitfaced. We're still friends, but I don't involve myself with that. I can't deal with inebriated people--I don't like talking to them and then having them forget I was ever there. It's just not worth the hassle. As for drugs... yeah, call me a snob, but I'm just not going to get tied up with people involved with all that. I feel like, "good luck, but you don't have my support."
I don't drink alcohol, smoke or do drugs either. I don't really have a problem with people drinking alcohol aslong as they're careful, but I cannot stand or see the point of smoking and doing drugs. I don't want to appear as though i think i'm better than anyone but it seems to seriously change my opinion of people when i find out they have done drugs in the past. I do get tired though of being offered drinks when people cannot seem to understand my sobriety in this apparent alcohol dependant society i live in. However it is nice to know i'm not alone
I can completely sympathize with those who do drugs and alcohol. Personally, there are times I drink to have fun and there are times I drink to escape. One of my good friends who I always drink with used to be addicted to coke. So does her party lifestyle influence me? To a point. But I've always been into the party type scene where people are drinking and experimenting with drugs. Another thing is that I refuse to do hard drugs. I'll do pot, LSD, Salvia etc but nothing hard. Drugs and alcohol are extremely alluring though I won't lie. If they weren't, there wouldn't be such an addiction problem. It's like reality can be suspended just for that night. That's why I like it. Plus it's just an all around good time if you're doing it with people that you like being around like I do. There have been times I've had promiscuous sex too under the influence. But, if I'm going to get crazy it's usually only once a week.
its really not unusual for college students to drink a LOT and do drugs...i read somewhere that most people start doing all those stuff in college and then stop when they're out of college...
