1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

My Parents are Meeting my Boyfriend.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Geist, Dec 6, 2008.

  1. Geist

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2007
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Spokane WA United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    So I am finally introducing my boyfriend to my family and I am nervous as hell. I still have a week before they meet since we set up next Monday as the official meeting day.

    This first became a problem when my parents became bothered that we were spending too much time together alone and my parents started to worry about my safety. I know my boyfriend he would never do anything to take advantage of me. But they seem to think that he is some punk who is going to use me.

    So they told me that they don't want me to see him until they meet him. Unfortunately he cannot meet my parents until then so I won't be able to see him until then. :icon_sad:

    My dad is about as uncomfortable around gay people as you can be without being blatantly homophobic. He already shown a great dislike of me being gay. He still loves me but he still wishes that I was different. I just hope he is nice to my boyfriend since I know that most of this sudden dislike of me being with him is because of my dad.

    I am just so worried he will be mean to my boyfriend or god forbid tell me that I can never see him again. I am sorry for rambling I am just so nervous.
     
  2. justinishere

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2008
    Messages:
    246
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Clovis, CA
    Parents will worry, what can you do about it. Good luck though :slight_smile: It wouldnt be fair to not see the one you love just because you parents say so though...
     
  3. EM68

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2008
    Messages:
    3,265
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Stoughton, Massachusetts USA
    I'm sorry that your parents won't let you see your boyfriend until they meet him. But a least they are willing to meet him. From going to the PFLAG meetings, this is a big issue. Many times parents accept their parents but are not willing to meet their boyfriends. Some parents can and do accept their child but can not come around to meet the boyfriend. So them showing that they want to meet him its shows that they are open to you dating. As much as it stinks just bare with them. Hopefully you can a least talk to him on the phone, text etc. Good luck and don't be nervous! :slight_smile:
     
  4. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    One of the big fears that parents have when their children come out is the great unknown. Especially if they're quite "in the dark" about homosexuals. So when they first hear their child is gay, they tend to think of whatever their own personal worst-case scenario is. They picture their son in the company of drag queens, maybe, trying on dresses. Or in a leather thong and choke chain, being held by a huge biker-type. Or being taken to a bathhouse, forced to take drugs, and having all the patrons have their way with him.*

    Meeting the boyfriend actually tends to put a lot of that at ease. About all your boyfriend can do is show your parents that he's just a normal guy. He doesn't have to "act straight" or anything. Just make sure he's friendly and open.

    My boyfriend and my parents were both very nervous about meeting each other. But, as it turns out, my boyfriend and my father are both excellent cooks. That was their common ground. My boyfriend asked something about the dinner my father was preparing, and soon they were chatting like old friends. Maybe you can find somewhere where your guy and your parents have some common ground. Maybe your mom and your guy both have an artistic bent, or maybe your guy and your dad both love the Seahawks. Whatever it is, that common ground can provide a great "in" for them to get to know each other.

    Lex

    * - Not demeaning drag queens or biker-types here. Just saying that ignorant parents can freak out about such things.
     
  5. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2007
    Messages:
    6,656
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Middle of Oregon
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    I think its great your parents want to meet your boyfriend. It does show an openness to wanting to understand you better. Yes, it wears on the nerves. I'm sure they are just as nervous as you and your friend but I see this as a big step in moving forward. I think your parents will meet your boyfriend and see he's just like everyone else. The only difference is you love people of your own sex. All that fear of the unknown is going to disappear. I remember one of our PFLAG dads talking about this and he says now that he feels like if he was on his death bed, he'd rather his gay sons' friends took care of him than anybody else! So just encourage your bf to be himself. Let your parents warm up to the idea of your being together. Don't make out in front of them. Parents need time to warm up to physical affection but you don't need to not touch eachother or sit on opposite sides of the couch either. Let us know how it goes!
     
  6. george678

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2008
    Messages:
    866
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Yes dont touch or make out obviously either!
     
  7. -Michael-

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2008
    Messages:
    1,126
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Middlesbrough, North-east England
    Oh my life you've made me nervous just thinking one day I might have to.


    aha. I'm sure it'll be fine, just act like he's a normal guy friend in front of your parents.
     
  8. James2612

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2008
    Messages:
    121
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rainham, near london!
    I hope it all goes well for you!
    I am sure it will!

    GOOD LUCK!!!