I'm 20 years old and don't know if I'm gay or bi. I don't know if I'm gay or bi or straight but I'm sexually attracted to guys and I'm finding myself more and more attracted to guys. I've always been attracted to guys but never realized it was sexual. I have always had a thing for legs and feet so I've always liked legs and feet on guys or girls. At the same time I'm attracted to girls emotionally and physically, but girls I do like don't like me that way and the ones who do show me any attention usually turnout lesbian or bi themselves. The first time I was accused of being gay was 7th grade, ironically my best friends at the time were Robert and JD both who I've found out are gay. With JD I would jokingly pinch his nipples and poke him in his stomach (probably my subconscious attraction) I guess he enjoyed it. In 6th grade met the first gay guy Tony he was in the 8th grade. In high/middle school my girl crushes Mallory( lesbian) Katelyn (bi) Michelle (bi) After high school at work and school I keep finding myself attracted to gay women. ex. Amy(lesbian) Frances (lesbian) Tiffany (lesbian) Jo (lesbian). I'm middle school I was told that a girl liked me. Teresa (lesbian) and another time two girls tried to get me together (but we were both too shy) Trisha (bi). After high school I find out they're both into girls they're actually dating each other. So back to high school … Starting 9th grade I'm in a class with Tony he's a junior and he starts flirting with me asking if I had a girlfriend. No mostly I was too shy to act on it. But with Tony he'd constantly flirt with me, rub my thigh and nipple so casually it never occurred what he was doing. Eventually he said he has a friend who'd give me a bj (it was probably him through). But with everything he said and did I never said no or stop. Having free rain on the Internet at home I started watching girl-girl stuff then guys on guys and realized I get more turned on from watching guys on guys. My senior year in tech theater/video there was a really cute emo boy Luke my lab partner he was so obsessed with the fact I played football always grabbing and feeling my biceps. I even started fantasizing about him. Found out later he's gay. The other guy Sean a freshman kind of nerdy skinny with glasses and braces. He wore sandals to schools I loved stealing glances at his legs Even then it never occurred to me that I was attracted to either of them. Later that year my other partner Ashley told me she bi, (lesbian now) but she was dating Michelle who I'd had a crush on. Later the year I met Mallory and Katelyn My first month of college I find out JD is gay my heart skipped a beat. I'd sneak into a corner of the library and read psychology books on homosexuality. At the job I have now there was this really cute guy Matt, don't know why but I guess subconsciously I was attracted to him when I first saw him. And guess what he's gay and his mom too. Another kid I worked with, Trey was begging to come home and hangout with me. Kinda creepy didn't know him that well. Saw he a few months ago definitely gay. To make a long story short I know I'm attracted to guys sexually I've always been in some way. With girls there's the physical and emotional, but with guys it's mostly physical. So few months ago I'm invited to go out with a coworker for her birthday with friends she's lesbian and they're going to a gay club. I couldn't go had to work late. Maybe I was afraid too go? Sitting at home I was thinking about how much I wanted to make out with a guy. So Am I gay, bi or just bi curious? Not sure what I'm feeling.
Hey Kevin, It sounds to me if you had quite a serious of unfortunate events. From what I understand and know of, these days nothing is defined by catergories of gay, bi, straight or even curious. There are many types of sexual preferences or orientations that people don't even know about that could make understanding someone's own sexuality very difficult. There are sexual preferences such as homoflexible or hetroflexible meaning they are primarily homosexual or heterosexual, but may have some feelings for the same or opposite sex. It strangely doesn't count as bisexual, because being bisexual is having the amount of feelings for the same and opposite sex. With the people who are either Homoflexible or heteroflexible they might have the same feelings of love, sexual and their emotional desires for their main sexual preference, but they also might also have only love, sexual or emotional desires for the same or opposite sex, but it doesn't mean they will go to bed with them. They might have an admiration to put diplomatically, but it doesn't just sex, they are expressing a preference that they feel something in them, Also you are still trying to figure yourself out so don't feel like you need to understand something now, because we all have to learning from life in some sort of way. If you interested try googling sexual preferences or sexual orientations, you'll be suprised how many they are. But don't feel you need to define yourself in any of these preferences, the only way that you can truly understand your sexual preference or orientation is what you feel for the one you are love and willing to be in a relationship with. Don't feel like you should feel completed by them, but you should feel like they are someone who you want to spend your life, and you appreciate their identity as a person (as a whole) their sexual preference or orientation should only be apart of that and not just the whole of it. Sorry to ramble on, I hope this helps?
It is not that I lack attraction to a woman's physical body, which I find to be very nice, but they never say or do the right things. They always do something to kill any beginnings of attraction, and I suddenly realize that I'm not really all that interested. Their openings get brushed off, and any sign of sexual interest makes me clam up, which is in turn annoying to them and causes them to start just being friendly, which causes me to start opening up again, tidily and happily "friend-zoned" and contented as hell to stay that way. The way that women behave, in proto-sexual situations, is very disturbing and upsetting to me, and I just can't help it. I know that straight guys get really excited about it, and they love the whole cat-and-mouse game. "Suit yourself," I say. The problem is that they react to me as they would a man, and that's a real turn-off to me. When the earth's magnetic field reverses itself again and women start behaving like gentlemen, I might find myself bisexual, but the women who behave in that way are all lesbians or spoken for, usually married to soft-hearted subbies who love kittens. The thing that men do that attracts me is this sense of, "It's okay, let me TEACH you what I think is so." They try to convince you of things. They WANT you to like the things that they like and understand the things that they think they understand. They want to take you places they have been. They are emotionally and intellectually so generous, and they want to share everything. They act like they are trying, not so much in the "putting forth effort" sense but in a really special sense that is heartwarming and sexy to me. They are emotionally masculine, even if they are not big and brawny. When a guy acts this way and is very sweet, gentle and understanding toward me and wanting to support my OWN intellect and make ME feel appreciated and understood, I really just want to snuggle up to him like a puppy, and I'm just acting sort of foolish. If you see me and a guy acting like that, then yeah, we're gonna fuck. The thing is, even though I can find women to be physically attractive and see them as magnificent and beautiful creatures, I just tell people that I'm "queer as a seven-dollar bill." In spite of all the different possible dimensions and nuances in my sexuality, it is always going to turn out the same way. I'm gay. The lesbians you're attracted to might sometimes fantasize briefly, at a subconsious level they'll never admit to, that you are a girl, and they start treating you, just briefly, like they would a woman they are trying to court. It might be that this behavior makes you really like them, but the thing is, women will never have the same pheremones as men. They will always be missing certain subtleties that you would always miss. Only you have any right to say what you are, but if you really want my opinion, you're queer as a football bat, my friend. There might be some deeply latent bisexuality in there, but it just sounds like, with a woman, something would always be missing for you. It's possible that you're bi, though, and that's also okay.
I truthfully can't answer this, because... you know yourself better than anyone else does. Only YOU can answer this.
Sounds to me like you are gay, but you are the only person who knows who you are attracted to; it's as simple as that.
