I don't really know where to start with this so I apologize in advance if this turns into a rant. Me and my ex started dating as 7th graders in may 2014 and broke up September/October 2014. During this time we never got past the "awkward-quick-peck-on-the-lips" stage. Towards the end of the "relationship" he suggested that we should try making out. I had little to no desire to try this but went along with it and ended up freezing up because it just felt wrong. At the time I had just chalked this up to nerves because that was my first time trying anything like that but now I have come to the conclusion that it was most likely because i'm either gay or bi and mostly attracted to women. After we broke up I told one of my ex's friends that I have two big secrets one of which my ex knows the other he does not so he already knows that I was keeping a big secret. So I guess my question is: how do I tell him that I'm lesbian without hurting him too much or inflating his ego because he thinks he made a lesbian fall for him when I didn't really fall for him at all? I am by nature a very kind person so the idea of going up to him and saying "oh hey remember me? I'm a lesbian and i never really liked you so goodbye" isn't really appealing to me. Thanks a ton!(*hug*)
Maybe a question you should ask yourself is not how, but why should you tell him you're a lesbian. I don't mean hide that secret from him at all costs, of course not, but what is the end you're seeking here? It might hurt him or hurt you to bring up old feelings and then explain that you mostly prefer women. He might think he wasn't good enough and you might feel guilty for making him feel that way. Take a step back and honestly consider 'why' before you decide to directly tell him. It might soften the blow to him if he found out indirectly through another source, rather than from you directly. EDIT: After reading my post, I realise better question might be: "why choose now to tell him you're a lesbian?" - there's reasons people have to come out to people. Coming out has an effect on other people's feelings towards you, and in this case it definitely will. There's a chance it could go how you don't want it to, so do you feel ready to handle that?
Sorry - I didn't feel like my post said what I wanted to. I just edited it to add some clarity, please read it again!!
