the past two days i have been seriously thinking of coming out but one i have no idea what to do... just randomly say hello im um... bi? thats another problem i dont really know if i am bi or gay. anyways the main reason i am thinking is because i met this kid around my age who lives pretty close to me. i could just meet him at the mall but then comes the problem of who would take me. i was thinking of first coming out to my sister because if it didnt bother her that much then i am pretty sure she would take me there and stuff. my home life is already pretty complicated and stuff so i dont want to make it worse. i have thought a couple times about just taking a few more of my meds and stuff like that but did that before (accident) and it really was not fun. i also just want to be out but i dont know if people would believe me... seriously. i sometimes say things that arent that great like bad things about gays and what not but i do that, just say what ever i think so yea. but i really would like to be out before my 17th birthday which is 07/07/07 just because. i dont really know if this person i met would be serious or just a friend. i have no clue on how my family would react and how i would convince them i all of a sudden am not going to their perception of "gay." am i just overthinking this?? i tend to do that when i am stressed. so i might just be being stupid because i have all these huge test and stuff coming up. any suggestions if i should do it now, wait and how?
Ok. It might help before you come out to know for sure if you are gay or bi. It could save you alot of further complications once you decide you want to come out. If you do come out just say im the same person, I won't magically morph into a stereotype of a gay or bi person. Plus people should have no reason to doubt you, it isnt like you make this up. You arent being stupid by the way, this is something you want to give sufficient thought to.
As EmperorDJT implied, you seem to need to find yourself. The following quote disturbs me. Would you please explain it to me?
its nothing like want to go kill gays its just kidding around but people think its serious sometimes and i have to tell them its not. i end up saying whatever i think and i dont know why because it really hasnt got me into that many good situations. once i told this kid who used to be my friend the truth about what i thought about him smoking, being a druggie and stuff and now he hates me. he now spreads around that i turned everyone against him, but really everyone thought the same about him, just wouldnt say it thanks for the advice
^^ i did the same thing. i tried to distance myself from gays by making fun of them. in peticular there was one gay kid who i really feel bad for but i would make fun of him for being gay. for a veraity of reasons. one he is HOT so he made me very uncomforatble. and i was jelouse of him that he had come out and i couldnt. but i think its a natural defence mecanism to try and throw people off track of who we really are. (atleast i hope thats what it is and im not just a sick freak). but anyways once i came out it quite reversed itself. now if i hear the word gay used as a synonym for stupid i firmly correct the person. and if some one uses the word faggot..... well lets say they learn quickly that i dont take kindly to that. (im a very ....... aggresive person.......wich is kinda weird for a gay but im cool with that.)
I also use to make fun of gays to hide who i really am. And I feel the same way about not knowing how to bring up the subject of being gay. I'm still waiting for the right time to say it :S
I dont think i ever made fun of gay people, but lets just say i am not innocent of say "Thats gay" or "He is so gay" But i haven't said that in a while
I never really got into making fun of gay people either because I thought if I did it too much people would start to question me. But I'm still guilty of saying things are "gay" all the time, it's just a habbit I haven't been able to break.
i dont say stuff about gays to distance myself it just comes out... whatever i think i say... truthful but not that great sometimes :bang: "opps i didnt mean to say u look stupid today i ment um..."
ahem...getting back on topic, like emperordjt said, u should prolly know for sure whether you're bi or gay for yourself before u tell anyone else. it would be kinda awkward if u changed ur mind later... and y wouldn't they believe you? i dont' know about where YOU live, but no one in nebraska would say they're gay just for kicks.
I agree, getting to know yourself is the best thing for you right now. I know there are a few people here that feel like they came out a bit early, and that the people they came out to didn't believe them as a result. I mean, sexuality is a hard thing to understand, and I'm one to talk I'm very confused right now! But let the dust settle first, explore yourself a bit more, learn what makes you tick. You're still young yet, and have plenty of time to fully find yourself. Now, I'm not saying that you should know yourself 100% before coming out ^^ but you'll know when you're ready.
