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I came out to my freind "first person" did not go well

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by username5, Jun 12, 2015.

  1. username5

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    Forgive me if I am breaking a rule posting in the wrong place I just found this site by googling this string "I told my friend i was gay and it did not go well"

    I am most likly not going to stay on this site more then a half an hour and have no idea why I am writing this I'm just rather sad
     
  2. Cryolite

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    It happens to each one once in our lives.
    What I can tell you is that, from now on, many things could happen.
    Maybe your friend will turn their back on you, grow distant, weaken your relationship, pretend you didn't say anything, or even grow less hateful of this aspect of you.
    The thing is, if this person doesn't change, their feelings for you weren't true in some sense. I'm not telling you to move on from this person immediately, it could take time, but from now on I'll assure you you'll start forming your criteria on who you can trust and who you can't.

    Just don't forget you aren't ever alone.
     
  3. username5

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    I really am awful at expressing my feelings so I do not know how to say thank you other then thank you :slight_smile:
     
  4. BradThePug

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    When you come out, you really find out who your true friends are. True friends, even if they react badly at first, will come around with time. They come around because they realize that you are the same person that you were before you came out. The only thing that is different is that they know that you are gay now. Sometimes people forget this, and by the time they realize it, it is too late. Hopefully your friend will come around with some time to reflect.
     
  5. Yossarian

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    username5, there are plenty of people who will accept you and love you just the way you are, which is just the way you were born to be. Forget about the people who have problems accepting you; it is their problem to deal with, not yours.

    PS You don't have any problem expressing how you feel; it is perfectly clear; please stay around and talk about your feelings; there are plenty of people here who will be happy to help you understand them, and accept you just as you are.

    PPS Don't be sad; you just rid yourself of a jerk who was not worthy of your friendship; that is an accomplishment to be happy about, not sad.
     
  6. confusedbubble

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    I had a horrific coming out experience but it only made me stronger, I told one friend and she stood up got her stuff told me I was dirty and left she blocked me on social media and tried to turn my other friends against me (it wasn't even like I'd asked her out or anything)
    Some people will always be nasty and this is the time to find out who your real friends are and make new ones, rise above it hold your head high you've just done something which in the long run will bring out the best in you.
     
  7. Feln

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    If someone doesn't accept you just because of your sexuality - the way you were born/created then it is a person not worth your time. At least that is what I think about it.
     
  8. Billy the kid

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    I am sorry to hear it went that way for you but, you are gay. That is who you are, you can't change that. You will find other people and friends that are going to accept you. Give your friend some time and find someone else to tell. You are still young, your best days are yet to come. Hang in there and don't leave us, we are all here to support each other. Keep us posted, it takes a lot of courage to do what you did and that says a lot about the kind of person you are.
     
  9. Chip

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    Hey!

    This site is a perfect place for people who have difficulty expressing feelings. An awful lot of gay men, when they first come out, experience the same things you're experiencing, and a lot of gay men have difficulty expressing feelings. Think about it... you've known something pretty core about yourself and have not been comfortable sharing it. So you've hidden yourself and your feelings for a long time.

    One thing you'll find if you do stick around here: It will get a lot easier to understand and talk about your feelings the more you read and share what's going on for you here. And that will, over time, have a pretty big impact on how you experience yourself in the world as well.

    It isn't uncommon for people -- particularly if, in your case, it was a girl who might have had feelings for you, or a guy who is straight and assumed you were -- are surprised and upset. This is part of the stages of loss everyone goes through : denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. Remember that you've had months or longer to come to this awareness; your friend has not. So s/he may simply be going through those stages, after which, the friendship will be fine.

    As to your specific situation: Can you describe a bit more about what went wrong? It's easier to put the situation in context with more detail.

    I hope you'll stick around.