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Venting/Stressed Out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Linkmaste, Dec 8, 2008.

  1. Linkmaste

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    This is kinda a vent so you guys dont have to read this although opinions on the work thing would be AMAZINGLY appreciated.

    FAMILY

    -Family is being a little resistant with me being gay. I mean I came out to them...almost a month ago and since then we dont discuss the subject
    -They found my e mails containing questions I asked and invitations for my gay community (I dont really know anyone gay or something but I wanted to really get involved...but they dont like the idea of me joinig "those people".

    FRIENDS
    -We have a love...pentagon? I dont know it works out like this.
    I like girl
    boy likes the girl
    girl may like boy?
    other boy likes me
    to the public: i like other boy (dont)

    Just...BLAH! XD I'm trying to stay away from her, she doesnt know about me...and I dont want to put this kind of pressure on her. I dont want her to feel uncomfortable around me.

    WORK
    -Okay I said a joking comment "oh I better get paid more on boxing day" and my manager over heard it.
    -I get news from my friend working there that they were back stabbing me and talking trash saying I'm a greedy bitch for saying that.
    -I was pissed but I decided that if I do good this week and keep my stupid mouth shut they will forget about it.
    -They back talked me AGAIN saying i'm a quiet slut who cant keep my legs closed.
    -These are like forty year old women too doing this to someone of my age...talk about maturity. This is also the manager.

    FRIENDS

    -My friend is having a hard time with his family, his mom's poor, dad left, brother is a teenage parent, other brother is a drug addict and they are losing heat, water, and I think he has something wrong medically with his teeth and ears since they keep hurting he says. Hes getting bullied at his school (public one I'm in a catholic one) and he doesnt have his meds.


    Under all this I finally snapped and slit myself twice (I'm sorry it was horrible of me dont worry I'm not suscidal...I think.)

    I dunno its my venting and especially for the work I need some suggestions. I want them saying this to my face if they gotta say it. Saying shit behind my back pisses me off and I fear if they do it more to me I will snap and maybe loose my job.

    I'm sorry I'm being a whiney bitch I know.
     
  2. thebikelady

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    No need to be sorry. Everyone has to vent from time to time. It is how you keep from going crazy.
     
  3. Pendrin2020

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    I understand what you mean. I remember sitting in my room with all of that going through my head. My boss talks shit about me endlessly, my parents are crazy and my sexuality is an elephant in the room, people won't just leave me alone.

    All the while I had this sick black hole in my gut that just wouldn't fucking go away. It would sit there and drive me in circles until all I could do is scream and write poetry that only made me more depressed.

    pain was absolutely constant. I used to punish myself with food. I would go days at a time and only eat a bag of popcorn and the only reason I could come up with was that I wasn't hungry. I was on a fast road to destroying myself and I didn't trust anyone enough in person to ask for help.

    Then I discovered alcohol; things got pretty bad after that.
    Then I discovered loose men; things got really bad after that.

    What I've learned in this crazy, unfair, hypocritical world is that if I don't reach out to people who can see and touch and comfort me in person, It's so easy to feel totally alone. I need people who have seen and felt that sick black pit in their guts, I need people who have been to the same razor's edge, I need people who have done whatever the hell it takes to feel better and can show me how to do it without hurting myself.

    I eventually came to a point where the pain of living one more day like that was too great. I had two choices, do something to get me killed (too chickenshit for suicide), or find a support group and do whatever it took to find a way to live through all of the shit life throws at us without hurting myself.

    Please I beg of you. Don't do what I did and hurt for so long. Find help now. I spent seven years in hell destroying myself. And what I learned in my support groups is that when I get self destructive, It only gets worse never better.

    Today it was a razor tomorrow it could be something people find more acceptable (ie my starving). The pain is still the same, it is still self-inflicted.
     
  4. whitefang

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    Thats ture...
    This is where I do alot of venting myself...
     
  5. Dazed

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    ok the ladies at your work are so in the wrong. as is the boss if he or she is saying it too that is just bad work ethic.

    ok this is where ima say something gross and somewhat rude to old ladies. they most likely call you a slut becuase thier "loveboxes" re too dried up to get any action and they are jealous. ignore them. be the better person. i for one am a evil cunt though cuz when my boss told me all i did was bitch i made a huge mess with all the food off the buffet threw my hat him and walked out. no one calls me a bitch.
     
  6. Linkmaste

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    Thanks about that advice pendrin2020, I used to stave my self excessivly back when I stopped cutting myself (used to do it REALLY bad in...maybe I was thirteen and fourteen.) Then I did discover alchol and overdosed about a year back...I stopped it when I talked to my friend counceler. Shes a little catholic crazy so...I feel really uncomfortable and bad about telling her this stuff.
    But I WILL try to find help. I will.

    iluxsinverlyxme: LMAO! I will be the better person, or I'll damn well try. I had a feeling they were jealous of me cause im one of the youngest workers there. But honestly I cant BELIEVE that they would get so pissy over a little comment I made, it was a joke in the first place but apparenly they dont understand my sarcasm.

    As for my parents, well...I just want to crawl back in the closet...maybe come back out when I'm braver cause I'm scared to talk about the subject around them now. Maybe I should wait till I have a girlfriend. But now...now I just want my soccer back or some kind of reason to leave the house...thanks for the support guys -sad smile-.
     
  7. Dazed

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    i think once we get old we start going back to when we were 2 years old. mentally at least. or that seems the case for them. watch next thing you know they will be in diapers again. haha