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Gay clubs

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by blah, Dec 8, 2008.

  1. blah

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    I'm planning on going sometime soon and it'll be a first time. Any advice on what to expect? Should I go alone or with a friend?
     
  2. crystaltriforce

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    i have never been to any clubs, but from what i hear it's better to go with a friend.
     
  3. Markio

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    Well, I have the same dilemma and want similar advice on how to prepare.

    See, I met this girl at a LGBT community learning workshop at my college; she's straight, and a junior. I've quickly become great friends with her and her friends as well--so much so that she's invited me to a gay dance club let's call "LionFire". We would be dancing from 10PM to 2AM, she says. She's worried I'll be afraid because it's my first time at one of these things, and that the music is loud, and strange men will probably grab me playfully over to dance with them, and that there will be freaking and men in their underwear.

    I really want to go because it would be an "educational" experience and I also like hanging out with my new friends-- I also think that by going I would be facing any fears I have and overcoming them.

    But I'm afraid that I'll be uncomfortable with the noise level and embarrassed of dancing in front of people. Would it be crazy to bring earplugs? Are there any tactics someone would recommend to help get into the groove of things, or at least to make this occasion as smooth as possible so that I don't have a bad night and disappoint my friends?
     
  4. s5m1

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    I have found gay clubs are like any other clubs, except you can actually look at the hot guys without worrying about getting hit! Each one is different, so it is not really possible to give a one-answer-fits-all description. Go without any expectations, other than that you want to have fun. I have found the guys in the clubs are just like you and I – regular gay men out to have fun. I have met many really nice guys while out.

    I have not had any bad experiences with men being overly touchy feely. If it happens, just let them know you are not interested. I have run into a couple of drunk guys who did not get the message that I was not interested, so I just moved on to a different area of the club and they figured it out.

    I recommend going with a friend. Just like with anything you do, it is more fun when you are with someone.

    Most of all, just try to relax and have fun. Let us know how it goes.
     
  5. Agerardii

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    Expect fun! And loud-ass electronica.

    In the four times I've been to a gay bar/ dance club I've always had a great time. It seems like people are so much more friendly and willing to have a good time. I would expect people to be more overtly sexual, but in a pretty light-hearted, non-threatening way. For example, I always get asked about the size of my penis (I'm probably the tallest guy most people have ever met) but I just laugh it off and that's the end of it.

    I would go with a friend, and earplugs are a good idea. Other than that just be ready to have fun!
     
  6. Gumtree

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    Expect cramped spaces, loud noise, expenses you never expected, lots of sleazy guys, fun, a hangover the next mornning and a que for the toilets.

    Definately take a friend.
     
  7. davo-man

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    Expect a lot of fun :grin: Ive only been to a specifically gay club once before and it was SO much fun! But definately bring a friend. It can get a bit intimidating if you're alone in there :slight_smile:
     
  8. Janvier

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    Awesome times :grin:
    Just follow the advice the others gave, I went alone my first time and I was a little uneasy but I still had fun.
    I’m also glad to see the way people view gay clubs on EC has changed, it used to be ‘oh be careful, you might get drugged, blah blah blah’
    I usually go to a relatively small gay bar and it gets packed really quick but that’s whats fun :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    I’ve always had the most laughs with the smokers outside.

    Just be careful who you stare into the eyes of :icon_wink it’s all about eye contact.
     
  9. Lexington

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    Welcome to EC! :wave:

    What to expect?

    * Exceptionally loud music of the remixed club/pop variety.
    * Dark with flashing lights.
    * Overpriced drinks.
    * Lots of people looking at each other, and then looking away when they see someone looking at them. If they have a friend there, they turn to the friend and say "This guy over there is looking at me. No, not there. THERE. No, I can't point at him! In the white shirt. No, the OTHER white shirt." By which point the guy has left to go to the bathroom or something.

    Should you bring a friend? Up to you. It does make me you feel more at ease, but then again, you'll be a lot less likely to go talk to someone you don't know if you have someone you DO know next to you.

    Who do you talk to? Anyone you want. See if you can find singles - people who didn't bring friends. They'll be more likely to talk.

    What do you say? Use the rules - 1. common ground, and 2. questions.

    "Hi, I'm (name)."
    "I've never been to this club. Is it usually this crowded/dead?"
    "What are you drinking? I've been wanting to try something different, drink-wise, but don't know where to start."
    "I like your shirt. I'm thinking maybe I over/underdressed for the club tonight."

    Lex
     
  10. Pendrin2020

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    watch out for the nine to five factor. In areas like nashville, most gay guys act straight in public and at work then go nuts at a gay bar. There are only a few around here so opportunities to let loose are few and far between. most of them are pretty okay around here but I notice there is more of a chance of getting grab-assed.