Really don't know what to do and need some advice. I'll give a few details to help anyone that wants to help better understand my situation, since everyone is different and every scenario requires a different approach. I'm 24 and recently decided after years of trying to figure myself out that I want to transition and be a woman. Only a few of my closest friends know, and even they were blown away to find out. I present as male and don't display any feminine characteristics outwardly. I've been in a relationship with a straight cis woman for a few years. We have a great relationship, we've even discussed our future in terms of intentions of getting married/kids/etc. I love her very much, and she loves me, but I'm afraid this is all going to end when I tell her I'm transgender and want to transition. I wouldn't blame her, I don't expect her, no matter how much she loves me, to all of a sudden change her orientation and be attracted to women. I guess I'm just looking for general advice. How do you tell someone you've been with for so long that you're not happy with your body/gender? What's the best way to tell her and minimize the hurt? To be honest, after a lot of discussion with my close friends that know, I'm starting to accept and realize that if she doesn't want to be with me because I'm not a man anymore then it just isn't meant to be, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with doing this in a hurtful or insincere way. We are also a long distance couple. So that complicates things if I tell her in person. I worry about telling her when I visit and her reacting really negatively and throwing me out of her place without a way to get home. Any and all advice would be so greatly appreciated <3
I think it depends on how she feels about LGBTQ in general. How did she react to Caitlyn Jenner? There isn't a lot of room to bring this up subtly, so I think it would be best to just explain it as best as you can and just be 100% honest. She will probably be shocked and you might want to give her time to think about things before you have a more in depth conversation. I agree that if she doesn't want to be with you after you tell her, then it was not meant to be. You deserve to be with someone who loves you as you are. There is no way to come out and have it go perfectly, all you can do is tell the truth. As for her throwing you out, I don't know her, but I don't think she will, considering the fact that you have been together for awhile. If it does happen, do you know anyone you could stay with?
To be honest, she has no problems with the LGBTQ community or issues in general, but her entire family is conservative/old fashioned/religious/traditional/ignorant, and I think this would greatly affect her decision and reaction. Also when I said she might throw me out, I'd only be visiting her for a week ish. So it would be more like, thrown out with a bunch of luggage and probably have to call a cab book a new flight and sleep at the airport. Which would suck, but isn't the end of the world. I myself still live with my mom and younger sister, but she's more open minded and we have a great relationship. I'm not so much worried about my mom kicking me out of my house, but that's for another thread.
