Just to clear the air, I am a teenage lesbian who isn't out to anyone. Online, I openly say I like girls (except not on Facebook or somewhere that has family members). Besides that, no one knows. Just me. I've talked to my parents before about LGBTQ+ rights and issues, and we can never seem to come to an agreement on any of it. One day, "The Fosters", a T.V. drama with two lesbian mothers was on, and I asked my mom what she would think if I were to marry a girl. Her response? "I think I'd throw up." Also, while watching the show, she said she was uncomfortable. So, obviously, you can see why I'm a bit on the edge of coming out anytime soon. But here's the confusing part: the other day my family and I had dinner, and my mom had had a few drinks. We were talking about what our futures would be like, and suddenly she said, "I don't care who you marry! Gay, straight, whatever!" I hadn't even asked her a question on who I might marry. So basically, some days my parents are very supportive, or at least try to be. But then there are the days when they seem repulsed whenever they see a gay couple walking past them. I've thought about how I might come out, and I've figured it would be best to do it via email while I was away from them for awhile because I'm very scared of their reactions, or even what the rest of my extended family might think. :help: To sum things up, I'm scared and confused. Any insight or help would be appreciated. Thanks!
It sounds like it would be a bit risky. It may be good to have a plan in place for the worst case scenario, even if you don't expect it to happen. I'd also recommend coming out to someone you know will support you before your parents. That way you can have emotional support elsewhere if things go poorly. I can't really tell what's going on with your parents, but my best guess is that even if they were to say they accepted you, they wouldn't be vey reliable. Maybe they're trying to balance the social pressure from both sides of the issue, but ending up with contradictory opinions? I agree that it would be best to come out from a distance. Is this something you plan to do soon, or is it farther down the road?
I don't plan on coming out to them any time soon. I was thinking I'd do it during college. And thanks for the advice, I'll talk to a friend about it!
It sounds like they're just humorously homophobic, and they're just being childish, sort of like guys going, "Girlllls! Ewwww!" or a little girl of the type who makes a point of acting grossed out by frogs, even though you know she'd likely behave differently if she saw one injured or something. It's just that sort of thing, a lot of times, with what looks superficially like homophobia. The support network thing, damn, I can't say enough how much security that gives you. When you have other people to lean on..."We all need somebody to leeean on! Lean on me, when you're not strong! I'll be your strength and help you to carry on!" I don't know if it's as true for lesbians as for gay males because I'm afraid I know very little about lesbians, their lives and their issues, but gay guys can sometimes actually be in physical danger, and family members can actually attack them. It's not the norm, but it's known to happen. It's therefore an important thing for gay guys to have plenty of people they know who realize what's going on. That support network can end up being a big deal.
