Im gay. Easy enough to say here but when i try and bring up the courage to tell someone i actually know i just cant. Im male and 14 years old and I really feel like i need to tell people but i just dont know who or how or when. Ugh. I dont really want to tell my parents as im not sure how they stand with homosexuality and i dont really have a close relationship with them. Ive recently changed friendship groups because my old friends started doing drugs and a whole other load of bad stuff so i decided to cut them loose. Ive just started to properly get to know the guys im with now even after spending nearly a year with them. Ive only recently started regularly going out with them and still dont feel comftable asking people to go out with me. I play PC games with a few of them and im pretty close with one of them, were in most of each others lessons and we talk a lot outside of school on skype and stuff like that. Some of my friends are openly gay and everyone is accepting but the way people talk to them and treat them is different to everyone else, not in a bad way exactly just not as much physical contact or sex jokes and the like. The thing is me and my friends like messing around and shoving around and stuff like that. Also just generally messing with eachother. It gets pretty physical sometimes but not sexual in any way, i think of these guys as friends not sexual objects. Its just if i came out now they might look back and see all that fun and messing about as something sexual which it really isnt for me. I would also hate to miss out on all the sex jokes and stuff like that, it probbably sounds wierd but were at that stage where your all a bit sick minded and curious. People are all starting to get girlfriends and get more serious, not everyone if course but some people and even if i dont have a boyfriend or anything i would be much more comftable people knowing i was gay instead of expecting me to get a girlfriend or being asked out or a similar awkward situation. Ive never denied being gay to anyone and can imagine myself just blurting all this out if i was asked and for some reason i feel like this would be an easier way to come out. But i dont know if this would be a good idea or what. Argh so confused! This is only my second post and i dont really know what you guys are like but if youve read this far i would love to give u a huge thanks and i look forward to hearing what you all have to say.
I don't really know what to say, except weigh the outcomes here? Which would be worse for you, staying in the closet or maybe missing out "guy stuff" with your buddies? One thing I will say, if you come out just make sure to point out that you aren't attracted to them. Hopefully that won't change their behavior towards you.
At the very least, the friends who are openly gay would be "safe" people to come out to when you are ready
You are at the age where people today are beginning to recognize and declare their sexual orientation. I don't think your friends would try to rethink things that happened earlier as much as try to figure out how to interact with you in the present. Yes, they might treat you differently from how they have been, IF you change how you are behaving in some major way on a day-to-day basis. If you keep acting pretty much the way you always have, they will likely treat you as they always have. They might tease you a little about boyfriends versus girlfriends, but on matters not having to do with sex or dating, they will most likely not change their behavior very much if you don't. After all, you were gay before, whether they knew it or not, and they treated you the way they did, so there is a good chance that won't change much. And if anyone does start treating you badly, just dump them and find others who will treat you like you want them to.
