I have recently been questioning my sexuality. I have always been attracted to guys, but recently, I have been thinking about other girls in the same way I think about guys. It is becoming more frequently girls than guys. I have found myself seeing lesbian couples and wishing that it could be me. My parents are super christian and completely against same sex relationships and marriage. I have nobody I can talk to about it because all of my friends are straight. I need advice on how to come to terms with my sexuality. I don't know what I would be "labeled" as. Anything will help me. I just need someone to talk to and help me through this.
What you are going through is totally normal. I was in the same boat as you about 3 years ago, with the questioning and the conservative parents. Don't worry about labels. Figuring things out takes time. It took me more than two years of "do i like guys? or girls? or maybe both?" to finally come to terms with my sexuality, and start accepting myself. Take it slow. There's no need to put yourself into a box immediately after you start questioning. Don't worry about your parents just yet, you can cross that bridge if you get there. We are all here at EC to help. You can message me if you want to talk in more detail.
Hey. Welcome to EC. The thing that immediately stood out to me in your post was about your conservative parents, because I'm in a similar situation. Although I wish it were simpler, because coming out sooner rather than later always seems like a great idea, but, wait until you're self-sufficient before coming out. If they end up being really horrible, they may kick you out, and it's better being in the closet with a roof over your head, but out of the closet, but not being with your family. I know it may be difficult, but it's something you may have to do. As for having nobody to talk to - coming to EC was a fantastic idea. Everyone here is really friendly and open, and you can talk to almost everyone here about anything. It's really easy to get advice here. I hope this helps, and that you find who you are -I/W (*hug*)
I understand how you're feeling! I am past the questioning phase and am sure of my orientation, and I'd love to help you figure it out if you'd tell me more! You could post on the "Sexual and Romantic Orientation" thread as well if you would like more help finding out! As for conservative parents, I understand. Mine are very against gay/lesbian couples and it hurts me. I have a girlfriend, and I was almost outed by texts. Glad that didn't happen, though. I would not suggest coming out to your parents. How old are you? Personally, I'd move out and live on my own when I am old enough and financially stable (five more years at LEAST) and end up sending them a wedding invitation if I choose to be with a girl. Good Luck! Feel free to post on my wall if you'd like to talk
I'm 16. ---------- Post added 21st Jun 2015 at 11:50 PM ---------- I've been stuck in this boat for about a year now. I started questioning it when one of my best friends came out to me. I was the first person she came out to. I'm 16. I have 3 more years of high school and I'm planning to save up and move out on my own senior year. My mom isn't totally against it but she isn't totally for it either, my dad and stepmom have even said, "If one of you guys even thinks for a second that you're gay, we are sitting you down with a pastor." I can't talk to any of my friends about it because about a year ago when I tried, they all laughed at me and I even got into a fight with one of them and almost lost her as a best friend. I'm scared and don't know what I should do. This has caused my anxiety to soar through the roof in the past year and my parents want to get me tested for a bunch of stuff because I have been hiding it for a while and it snuck back up on me. it has brought back my depression and is making me feel weak.
I wouldn't recommend you coming out to your parents until you are financially stable yourself. As for your friends, is there anyone in your school that is out? I know some schools have a gay-straight alliance, so if there's one in your school, maybe you can talk with some people there as well? Do you plan on going to college/university? If you do I almost guarantee that you will make new friends who will be more open and accepting. If you're not going, there is a whole world outside of high school that you can't see right now, but it's there I promise! You will meet lots of different people, some of whom will be really open. In 5 years, you might not even talk to your friends from high school anymore. That's what happened for me. Hope this was helpful, and hang in there!!!
There is a GSA at my school but I don't know how to get into it. I have about 3-4 years until I am legally allowed to leave the house to be on my own. There are some people who are out at my school but one of my friends who was out graduated and is off to college and I don't really talk to any of the others. I'm just nervous that my parents won't let me go to the meetings or get any of the shirts they give out. My parents are very protective and they still think I'm all boy crazy and I don't like pretending to be what I'm not. This whole situation has been stressing me out. I dropped a hint to my mom about wanting to go to Pride Day with my friend who is out and she said she doesn't know if she wants me to go. If she doesn't want me to go to an event for something that she believes that I am just purely supporting, I don't know how she would feel if she knew that I was a lesbian. I feel like any of my would kick me out because they are all very judgmental. All my brothers use degrading and derogatory terms to refer to gay people. My family absolutely scares me because I have a feeling that my parents will want nothing to do with me after I do finally come out to them.
Its all right there's nothing to be scared of. Coming out is a great thing, but by the sound of it, you probably shouldn't tell any of your family (unless things change) until youve gotten a stable job and have moved out. Not having family, especially parents, to talk to about your feelings is hard. If you have any friends that accept you for you, stick to them and talk about your feelings with them. Also, this us the safest place to talk about your feelings. We all care about you (*hug*)
