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What if people don't accept me?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TheShyOne2015, Jun 24, 2015.

  1. TheShyOne2015

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    Ok so I really need some advice please...

    Last year I left a long term relationship with a man. I always felt like there was something missing between us and could never love him how I was supposed to no, matter now much I tried. We where together for 4 years and had a child together.
    Since leaving the relationship I had so much time to question myself and what I really wanted from life. I have come to the realisation that I am probably a lesbian. How have I not known this all along?! It seems so obvious now, but there are so many things stopping me from acting on this. First how would I ever meet anyone?

    Like I said I have a child but I also have a full time job so it is very difficult for me to get out and mingle and I'm also not one for Internet dating. Would anyone even accept me as a lesbian because I have a child?

    Am I just overthinking everything? I feel like I'm setting myself up for a fail and might as well carry on pretending to be straight because there is no point :frowning2:

    I'm such a shy person and couldn't bring myself to just go up to a girl And start talking to her no matter how much I wanted to. Sorry about my long story I just feel so confused at the minute.
     
  2. The Purple One3

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    No! Don't be sorry! First of all, just because you have a child does not mean you have to act straight. If you feel that you are a lesbian, then your a lesbian. Don't EVER force yourself to change or be someone you'r not. If anyone tells you what you are, or that you can't be a lesbian because you have a child than their wrong. Only you know who you are!
     
  3. TheShyOne2015

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    Thank you so much for your reply :slight_smile:
    I just feel like everyone expects me to be straight because I have a child, if that makes any sense at all.
    Like I was having a conversation with a girl a while back and she says to me "If you didn't have a child I would think you was gay and would be flirting with you right now" At this point I knew there was a strong possibility that I was a lesbian but I just laughed it off. I would not know where to start when meeting girls or even making friends because I never get the chance to go out and enjoy myself.
     
  4. bi2me

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    If someone says that to you now, you could just say, "Yes, I am." :slight_smile:
     
  5. TheShyOne2015

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    That is very true, I could say that :slight_smile:
     
  6. The Purple One3

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    No problem! Im just glad I got to meet you!
     
  7. Really

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    Well...where's that girl now? :wink:
     
  8. TheShyOne2015

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    I could never admit it to her now, I would be too embarrassed lol
     
  9. Really

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    You could make light of it. Tell her it turns out she was right. Your child was a "red herring". You do like women.
    Anyway, logically, the majority of women have children so odds are most "later lesbians" do, too.
     
  10. TheShyOne2015

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    I'm only 22 though so I just have this idea in my head that I won't be accepted and everyone will judge me. I overthink everything so it's probably all in my head haha. It is a good idea to say that though, I'm just too shy to talk to people :frowning2:
     
  11. The Purple One3

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    Normally a lot of ignorent people do judge, but not any one of us should let that get in our way.
     
  12. Really

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    Ok then start small. Practice just saying Hi to as many people you come across. In the office, at the bank, etc. No need to stop and talk. Just get into the habit until it becomes less daunting. Then you can start smiling at any and all women and see which ones smile back. I think I've found that the straight ones don't respond - here, anyways.

    Unfortunately, you have to actively do what doesn't come naturally until it does.

    And don't worry about being judged. If they haven't had a chance to get to know you, their opinion doesn't matter. Because, really, how many people's opinions mean anything to you now? Probably a small handful and that's it.

    So. Tomorrow. Start with one new "Hi" and go from there. :thumbsup:
     
  13. TheShyOne2015

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    Thank you everyone for your great advice. I have decided that I'm going to get out there and try and meet people and see where this leads me. I am very nervous but with all the support I have had on this thread my confidence is so much better. I am sticking to the thought that if people don't accept me then that is not my problem.

    Wish me luck :icon_bigg
     
  14. bi2me

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    Good luck! I'm working on being more authentically me in my daily life. It doesn't mean screaming that I'm bi, but just being out there with my opinions about things and if people don't like it or want to hear it, then I probably don't want to be their friends anyway!
     
  15. NSmil3Anna

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    I've been there, I came out 5 years ago when my son was 1 - and although some close family already knew and knew I was in denial when with my son's dad it was a relief to finally be who I was meant to be. I had a lot of people co workers mostly question my sexuality because I had a child.

    You can't pretend to be someone your not based on what other people think the only people that will suffer from that is yourself and your son because he will pick up on your emotions.