Hello everyone I'm a gay female (lesbian) and I've hadn't had any issues with "coming out", but that's only because I don't feel that I have to announce my sexual orientation to anyone. Reading other people's post, blogs and watching their vlogs is starting to make me question myself. Am I just comfortable with not coming out as a lesbian because I'm secretly too afraid? Off the back I don't care what others think of me, no one announces being straight why do I need to announce that I'm gay? I don't have the type of family that will just accept who I am, when my mom "suspected" me as being gay she practically threatened to disown me and called me disgusting. It hurt, but I was ok. The rest of my family aside from literally 3 or 4 people will judge me to my core but the thing is I couldn't care any less. My question is, is coming out really a mandatory thing or is it something society gradually made up? :help:
Well the thing with coming out is that when your friends and and family know about gender and or sexual orientation, they can properly "treat" you as that gender or sexual orientation (such as a transman being called "he" instead of "she"). More importantly, getting your feelings out and heard are essential because keeping emotions in normally hurt a lot. And when you get confused or need help (what this forum is for), family and friends can support you and be there for you.
No one announces being straight because they're already assumed to be. Society announced their were straight practically at birth. People don't just announce they're gay, they announce they're not straight, because heterosexuality is what other people expected of them. People don't announce that they fit the norm, because it won't surprise anyone and it won't change the way they're treated, since they were already treated as if they fit the norm. Anyway, coming out is not "mandatory." I do know that for me, personally, being out has brought me a lot of happiness. If you don't want to come out, then you shouldn't. Everyone is different.
I'd like to encourage you to think about what's best for you. If not announcing it is cool with you, that's great. Also, it's possible to be 'out' without feeling the need to announce it to everyone you know/meet. Yes people assume I'm strait, but personally I'm just honest when it comes up in conversation, or if it becomes relative to the relationship (I'm talking about sexuality here, gender identity I'm questioning and will make my decision on coming out when I get a little more settled there) hope this helps!
I totally agree with what you have said about not having to announce being straight so why should you about being gay, if people were to ask you what would you say? I never made a huge announcement like you I never felt I needed to I love who I love right! However if people asked or implied about my relationship Id tell them im into women only.
Yes, I do the same thing Anna. If someone asked me or assumed that I was with a male I'd simply correct them. Other than that I haven't brought it up in conversations on my own with anyone because I don't feel it's needed. Yes, it doesn't fit the "norm" and most people just assume everyone is straight but it still doesn't push me to "come out". Anyways, I like the points that were made in this thread @Lyana I thought your post was very helpful. and @Xander27 Thank you
Sobrina I think it is something that society made up - I know people to have had huge party's for coming out but then know others like ourselves that are less eager to have to make an announcement to the world.
Yeah in regards to my sexuality it always seemed odd that people care so much. There are a select few situations when what gender you are or arent attracted to should actually be important to another person. I'm pansexual, but frankly dont think I need to come out. I'm already out, but dont feel the need to announce it. I love that society has reached the point where I can feel this way! Oddly enough my mom had a similar statement, she said straight up that she would not talk to me for a while and go need "serious counseling" if I was gay. I might break her if she finds out the thing I sort of have to come out about. Gender isn't really at the point where simply being and not bothering to come out seems like an option yet. We'll get there. I suppose a major difference is that while one wouldnt have to announce they are straight, its not unusual for someone to announce that they are a man/woman/girl/boy.
