I'm an asexual who has recently entered a relationship. I've never had a relationship and I'm worried that I'm driving them away by not being physically intimate (not in the sexual way, but like hugging, kissing and romantic stuff). I feel that they are under the impression that I just don't like them, and I've tried to be affection, but I am just physically unable to. I'm feel that I am incapable of feeling that way. I can't watch romantic movies with rolling my eyes or gaging; kissing is out of the question; sexual intimacy is even worse. I feel that society puts pressure on couples to be intimate, and I don't know how every one will react if I told them I can't have romantic interactions. I don't think anyone will understand, and I don't know how to tell them. I can't just send a text saying "guess what! I'm an asexual. Sorry for acting like I hate you because I'm uncomfortable."
Just tell them that you'd uncomfortable. If that's how you feel, you shouldn't subject yourself to it. If they truly love you, they will understand and accept you for you. For the longest time I was asexual, but only in the sexual sense. I loved people in every way except sexually. Now I recently realized I might be a lesbian, bi, or pansexual. For me, I guess it was a phase. :icon_bigg I would have put the hug emote, but I know you would not enjoy it! :icon_wink
Hi EhPositive, If you do like this person, there are ways to show that that don't necessarily require bodily affection. Words, gift giving, making time for each other, doing things for the other. Tell them you're not into the physical stuff, but you really like them. That said, some people just won't be okay with not receiving and giving physical affection because they need it and it's part of how they express love. In that case, you're just not compatible. However, if you don't actually like them romantically, then you should break up -- it's only fair. It would be the right thing for both of you. You don't have to tell people you're asexual if you don't want to. And you don't have to tell everyone. It's not most people's business. But if you want a low-pressure way to come out, just wait until it comes up in conversation. For example, when someone asks you if you have a boyfriend yet, say you're not interested and you don't think you'll ever be. If your friends talk about how hot so and so is and how they'd totally sleep with this or that actor, say you don't see the appeal. If anyone questions you, just say "I'm asexual" explicitly. However, yes, there is a very good possibility that people won't understand. If they ask questions, have the answers ready. But educating people is not your responsibility, and if it annoys you, you don't have to do it. If they keep on making assumptions that you'll have a romantic relationship one day (are you also aro?), just keep setting them straight the way you did the first time. The reasonable ones will get the hint eventually. Ignore the others. Hope that helps a bit.
