I made a promise to myself that I would leave that damn closet once in for all.Well I just got back from vacation 1000 miles away and couldn't even wear a gayish t-shirt. Plenty of gay couples around as well.I bought this shirt that had "I can't even think straight" written on it in rainbow lettering on my last day there.I so wanted to wear it that night but I was too afraid. Now I'm back home ,in the middle of nowhere, with a shirt that I love and nobody around to see it. I had a chance ,for a week ,to be me but I blew it .What is wrong with me? I'm dying inside and it's nobody's fault but mine
I have to be honest. I'm out to everyone I know, and I still don't think I'd wear something that would publicly identify me as gay. My husband and I don't hold hands in public either. We say it's because we don't like holding hands (we don't,) but part of it is definitely fear-based too. The world can still be scary sometimes, and the ability to "pass" among strangers is still of some comfort to me. Don't be disgusted with yourself. It's clearly something very important to you, and I'm sure you'll get there in time.
