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Can homophobic family support you?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by BiKate, Jun 27, 2015.

  1. BiKate

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    Hey sorry if this isn't the right place for this thread, I'm new.
    Does anyone have homophobic, or previously homophobic family members that support them?

    I'm just wondering because while my parents and siblings aren't homophobic (I have a gay half brother who came out years ago), my grandparents are slightly (They aren't related to my gay brother).
    They don't actively speak out against it, and I'm pretty sure they still think gay people should have the right to marry, simply because they don't really care what other people are doing in their own lives. But then a couple of months ago there were two girls kissing on tv and my grandparents got really grossed out about it, especially my grandfather, which made me worried. I live with them and I'd like a girlfriend one day.

    Anyway my grandfather uses facebook a lot so I think he's seen an increase in the lgbt pages I've been liking as well as pictures. I was just sitting in a chair, probably looking kind of mopey, and he just goes "Aw Kate wants a good woman" and my nana was like "What? Haha no she doesn't" and my pop just said "Yeah, she does!"
    And then we kind of all joked around about which of my friends I should go for, and then I said I wasn't really interested in any of my friends, but didn't flat out say I wasn't into girls :lol: Then we joked about who else I know at work etc. that I could ask out.

    I know they were just joking around, but I think my grandfather actually suspects that I'm into girls as well, and well it would be nice if one day I could come out and they were actually cool with it.
    Has anyone had family that were homophobic but ended up being supportive of you? And does it sound like my grandparents could be accepting, or should I not read so much into a bit of joking around?
     
  2. LesbianThrasher

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    I think your grandparents will accept you. Judging from your post it seems like you have a good relationship with them and since they seem to support gay marriage, maybe they might not react so badly. You could also try talking to them about their views on gay issues or any topic relating to it and see where they stand.
    My parents don't support gay marriage and are constantly talking about how it's wrong and sinful. Every time they see a gay couple, they make sure to show how disgusted they are, especially my dad. However, when I came out to my mom, she said she supported me but probably not the fact I was gay. As for my dad, I think it's best if I kept it from him because I know if he finds out, his response will be just utter disappointment. At least your grandparents don't seem as intolerant as my whole family so they might have a chance at accepting you.
     
  3. AJ56

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    I think your grandparents would accept you. Especially since you seem to have a good relationship with them. Plus, if they're supporting of gay marriage, they're probably supportive of the LGBT community in general. If I were you, I would ask them about what their views are about LGBT issues just to be sure. I'm in the same boat as you, except it's with my stepdad. He's okay with it, but like your grandparents, he's grossed out by gay couples, and I'd like a boyfriend one day.
     
    #3 AJ56, Jun 27, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2015
  4. BiKate

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    Thank you! I'll try and talk to them about their views. I know I'm lucky that my parents and siblings all would support me fully, probably once they realized it's not a phase, but it's still scary thinking of coming out to people.
     
  5. okccpdude

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    My family is homophobic to the extreme. In fact, I am not sure if its possible to get any more homophobic than they are. Their church today is burning the rainbow flag in opposition to the Supreme Court decision. Just yesterday, I liked an article on Facebook that was well-balanced but in support of the SCOTUS decision. My mom saw it in her newsfeed and is now condemning me to hell for sympathizing with the (insert homophobic slur here). I was out once before but then I went back in and went through reparative therapy. As far as they are concerned I am "fixed" but I really am not. If I ever come out again, I will have to completely separate myself from them. There is no other option.
     
  6. swagmaster

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    My parents and fanilly are chill. I can imagine one of the grandparents having an issue with it but i think they are to controled and to intrested in living by the cowboy code to really do anything like this.I dont think hes going to be screaming profanity at me on Facebook because thats just not how he operates.my other grandparents were born slightly later and came of age in the 70s so they will probably be fine. My friends are all probably a bit more liberal then i am. I guess i just lucked out that way. I understand the feeling of people wanting to fix me mostly because i have aspergers but i dont think ive ever had to deal with anythng like this. I guess you kind of have to choose vetween being who you are and not being disowned to some degree.If i were you I would get as far away from there as possible.
     
    #6 swagmaster, Jun 28, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2015