So finally, it occurred to me that I'm bisexual. Actually, I guess I've always known this, though somehow, I never really dared to just face it. Ever since my teens I felt attracted to both men AND women. I find it easier to fall head over heels in love with women than with men, but I must say, physically I am more quickly attracted to men. But, just to be clear, women also do excite me sexually... ALOT. Anyway, it was something I was struggling with for as long as I can remember. I've never acted upon my attraction to women. And I always kept that part of myself hidden for family and and even for my nearest friends, and ofcourse boyfriends. The funny thing is that somehow, I quite easily befriended people from the gay community, and I always felt very at ease with them, even though -as far as they knew- I wasn't really part of "their" community. I guess, maybe they sensed it before I did. Now I realise, that I must have exuded a certain vibe, which explained, why I often attracted gays. I just often felt "weird", and that would make me feel really uncertain about myself. And now it's like al these pieces of a puzzle suddenly fell into place. I think I finally can embrace my "weirdness" for what it is. Anyway, it took me almost 33 years to find out, but now I know: I'm bisexual and thats allright for me. And I want to be in a monogamous relationship. Because, that's just the kind of person I am. It think it's all about the person you are with. Not the gender. The only thing I feel ashamed of, is that it took me so damn long to come to terms with it. I can't say I was surrounded by homophobic people. Or I have this very strict religious parents. The only one that was holding me back was... me. And I feel quite stupid for that now...I just cannot grasp why -despite all my gay friends, which I supported, and the inner feelings I could have for both men and women, I just never realised that I'm bi. What do you make of that? I think that being a bisexual just makes everything even more confusing. There were times I thought "maybe I'm lesbian?". But then I would see a nice man, and think "Naah, you are certainly not gay". Denial is just so weird... It reminds me when my eyesight was worsening when I was 13 years old. I could not read the writing on the blackboard in the classroom, so I always had to sit in the front row. And even then, I had to squeeze my eyes to read what was written on the board. Still it never occurred to me that I should just go and buy me some nice glasses. The annual medical check at school was a big nightmare, because I really dreaded that eye test. And again, I still did not realise that the solution was simple: just wear glasses. That option simply never occurred to me, even though there are plenty of girls at my school who also wore glasses. I just thought it was normal to have to squeeze your eyes, and to hate eye tests. And then my parents finally picked up on the problem, bought me some nice glasses and I was like: why didn't I just do this earlier? Well , I don't know if this comparison makes sense to anyone but me...But it kinda feels the same. Like how could I not see the solution right in front of my eyes. I guess even with glasses, things aren't always that clear... Is there anyone who can relate to my story?
I can't relate per say, but I wanted to give you some friendly advice, and that is to be happy that you have finally accepted who you are. Don't be let down that you think you took too long, because what is too long? Some people go through life and NEVER accept who they are. You are very lucky . Go out and enjoy the sunshine!
I'm bi. It didn't take me thirty years, but even being aware of my crushes on and attraction to girls and having several gay/bi/lesbian friends and acquaintances, I still defaulted to "straight" if someone asked what my orientation was. It's easy to assume you're straight when you are attracted to the opposite gender -- even if you are, in fact, bi. That's society. It doesn't matter how many gay friends you have; being straight is still the default. There's also the lack of anxiety -- it doesn't seem to be a big issue to you whether you're gay, straight, or bi. It never was to me, either, so I never questioned it or worried about it. Don't let it make you feel illegitimate. Plenty, plenty of people come out to themselves at your age or older, as bisexual or gay. My aunt came out after she'd married, had two kids, and divorced, and she's had several relationships with absolutely great women since then. Don't feel ashamed, and don't let anyone make you feel ashamed. You're awesome. You already sound super comfortable with your orientation, and that's all that matters. Also, I can completely relate to the glasses story! ETA: And welcome to EC!
Why do think that you are bisexual? Its perfectly normal to have sexual attraction even to the same sex people, because of the lust that is within us. As human beings, we all seek pleasures, good or bad and sexual pleasure is one that we desire the most because of its stimulation. Therefore, its perfectly normal. Even sometimes, we admire people of the same sex because we desire certain qualities that they have. That too is perfectly normal. But to admit that u are bi out front, therefore, allowing your mind to "make normal" the fact that u have sexual relationships with other females, How sure are you that u want to do that? Once u accept that u are there is no turning back.
I can somewhat relate. I am not in my 30's yet, but I didn't get past my denial until I turned 24. When I told my mom, she already knew. Apparently I talk in my sleep. I haven't lived at home for 8 years! I guess my subconscious has known for a long time.
