Alright.. so I'm gay. I've known I was gay for a few years now.. but I've denied it. I just wanted to be normal, I just wanted to be accepted, but if I come out, I know I won't be. I feel like I have finally accepted who I am.. kind of. I'm still dating a girl, we're in a long-distance relationship. I don't really know what to say to her.. What do I do? I really respect this girl and I want the best for her, but honestly, I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt her feelings or anything. Now, Let's talk about family. My family is a really big christian family, and I'm not sure how welcoming they will be.. I have an aunt, she is lesbian. She has came out to everyone in my family except for my Grandfather, who is very homophobic. She is not allowed to tell him, as he'd probably disown her and be furious. I've actually came out to someone.. my grandma. She said it's not the way she wanted me to be, but she loves me just the same and fully supports me. She told me to talk to my aunt, since she has been in the same situation. Once I get up enough courage to do so, I will.. I'm just very nervous to come out to anyone. My mother.. I don't know how she would take it. I've overheard a few conversations of hers about gays and the lgbt community that weren't really nice ones. I really don't know how to tell anyone about this.. A lot of people at school actually think I am gay, but I haven't told anyone. Someone, please give me advice. What do I do?
Be as gentle as possible with the girl, tell her you care about her and you just want to be honest with her and stuff, and if I were you I would definetly talk to the aunt who's a lesbian. That's just me though.
Thank you for the advice. I definitely want to talk to my aunt, I think she could be some support for me.
I understand that you don't want to hurt the girl, but she needs to know. It's best to tell her now rather than wait until later. Like Goats said, be gentle with her and tell her that you care about her and that you just want the best for her. As for your family, I would say it would be a good idea to talk with your aunt. Your aunt went through these same struggles as you are now. Good luck and hang in there (*hug*)
You should tell your girlfriend, that would be the first thing. Don't keep leading her on, she may even become a very good friend, but at least give her the benefit to move on with her romantic life. So your grandmother knows and doesn't want you to lead that type of life? Well that's the risk she took when she had kids, they could be born autistic, physically impaired, gay. That did not happen to her, but it happened to her child. That is the risk people take when they have kids. Your parents should still love you right? Talk to your aunt, see if you can visit her and come out to her. She should respect your privacy and be able to share her story with you. She may be able to help you come out to your parents or give you a more in depth understanding on your parents view on how they accept the LGBT lifestyle. Back to your girlfriend though, tell her she is beautiful and all, but you have known for a while that you are gay and that it is not your choice and that you hope she understands. Tell her you hope that you can remain friends and that this is not easy for you. It is not a decision you chose to make. This is one of, if not the most challenging things you have had to do in your life, and that you don't want to hurt her, but at the same time you need to be supported and hope that she can understand what you are going through. As far as school is concerned, talk to one of your guidance counselors about it. This is who you are and if you can accept yourself then what everybody else thinks about you shouldn't matter. It is tough to do, make sure you are ready first. I can only tell you from experience that the longer you wait the tougher it will be. The sooner you can come to terms with this the sooner you can start living your life. This does not determine what you want to do with your life. It is simply a part of you, a part of the real you. If you become a doctor for instance, you save someone's life one day, it doesn't Matter if you're straight or gay, you still saved their life. I wish you the best in however you deal with this, these are just a few of my thoughts and I hope they can help you in some way. Good luck my friend. One last thing, only come out when you are ready. I don't want to sound like I'm pushing you to come out, make sure you will be happy. That's what counts, you being happy, so take your time and think things through.
The fact that you are building up courage to do this shows so much courage so i applaud you! I hope it goes well wishing you the best.
Thank you guys for the support. I'm still trying to bring up the courage to tell my girlfriend.. I like the relationship we have, and I don't want to let go of her.. She's such a great friend but I don't want her to go away after we break up.. :/
You need to tell your girlfriend sooner than later, hopefully early enough to stay good friends. I just came out to my wife after 22 years of marriage and wish I didn't put her through the years of pain. I would definitely go talk to your Aunt by yourself and get feedback/ideas from her-probably will be very helpful. Just take your time and make sure you fully feel ready to tell everyone and wish you all the best!!!!!
