Hello, community of EmptyClosets. This is my first post whatsoever, as i joined the site recently. I'm in need of someone's advice for a very serious topic. Coming out in one of the most homophobic countries. And by most homophobic, i don't mean there's death punishments or something. I'm 16 and i live in Bulgaria. Here people kill homosexuals. Here the police doesn't do very much about this. Hundreds of people attending the anti-gay parades in large cities doesn't help as much either. Abuses of "Gay", "Queer" and etc are also very much mentioned in people's "dictionary" since Bulgaria is place to one of the most hateful children of all time. My family is homophobic, at least don't like gays and being one. They've also never wanted me to become one, as they will always argue with me if i do some girly/gay action but i've never told them i'm gay. I have a boyfriend since 2015 and i've been very happy and all having a secret relationship (his status is also closeted), and we've been hiding it very well. I've been seeing tons of comments on massively-viewed channels' Facebooks here, and 90% of the people respond to as they don't want homosexuals here. And that makes me very afraid about what will happen to me if i come out. Any advice? Please?
Hey there, and welcome to the site! I'm very sorry to hear about the circumstances there. To answer your main question, about coming out - if you feel like you are in physical danger and could be hurt, or even killed (as you describe), then I cannot in good conscience suggest that you come out to people who are not themselves also gay. Your own safety has to be of primary importance. Of course, since you do have a boyfriend (and congratulations on meeting each other and being a couple!), you have at least one person to talk to, who you can tell your thoughts and be open with, and that's a very good thing. I don't know how possible this would be, but would it be feasible for you to relocate to another place, even in a country very close by, where the situation (socially and legally) is any better? You mention to the left that you're in Sofia, which seems to be the most welcoming place in Bulgaria, from what I can find, which is good - but if the situation is what you describe, then it may be worthwhile seeking out something a bit more safe. Of course I'm not trying to tell you that you have to do this, and the choice should be your own - but again, the question is one of protecting your own safety and finding a way to explore healthy social outlets where you can be yourself. To that end, EC is a good start - and feel free to contact me or any of the staff via PM if you would like to talk in more detail. Good luck to you!
I have to agree with Gravity, relocating to a new place would probably be the most ideal solution but judging by your age (only one year older than me ;D), I'm guessing that's probably not an easy one. It's horrific to have to hide, who you are out of fear, I'm really sorry for your situation and I hope you can find some good advice on this forum. ps: Congrats on meeting your boyfriend
Thanks for the responses! I really think i should move when i come of age. That's maybe for the best. Bulgaria is already a hole full of corrupted politicians, gypsies, emigrants, racists and homophobes. I don't think i can stay in a country where the minimum wage is about 150 euro. That's not enough for living, even if there isn't the problem of being a homosexual in the first place. Also if someone finds out that you're gay you can be fired out of your work place. That is awful. Anyways, thanks again for the responses, i'm very happy i can find a community that can help me with this.
