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Preparing for Sunday: Coming Out to Sister (Help Wanted!)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Greggers, Dec 13, 2008.

  1. Greggers

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    Ok! Backstory time! (!) (yaaaay, i love stories)

    If you haven't met me yet... (i know i have only been a member for a week or something)
    I live in an ultra-conservative, church run, town in B.C, Canada. "Coming Out" to my parents would end bad, to my brother would end horribly, to my friends is up in the air. The one person i can trust would be my Sister. She is the only person in the family who has voted against the conservatives and gotten away with it (in my family). She now lives in Vancouver with her husband and is an all-around wonderful person. I know she has mentioned gay friends of hers before, but its fuzzy. She has 100% no idea im Gay though, ive hid it VERY well, so it might be more of a shock/surprise factor im worried about.

    What do you suggest i do? Im telling her this Sunday when she comes over, in Private. It will be my first family coming out, and my first face-to-face coming out.

    Questions:
    - How do you approach "Coming Out" face-to-face differently than computer/letter/ect.?
    - Should i practice a script? Responses to her reactions? What should i plan out?
    - Should i jump RIGHT into the subject?
    - Any suggestions of what to say to her?
    - Any other comments?
     
  2. beckyg

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    If she already has gay friends, she probably already knows alot about gay people. I would just tell her that you feel that she is the best person to be the first to know because you love her and she's open minded. Start with that and then just say it. She'll probably ask you some questions. Just be truthful. It sounds like it will go fine and she will be of great help when you come out to the rest of your family. Good luck!
     
  3. biisme

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    You should speak from your heart. Just say what you feel, and let it go from there. She sounds like a great person. Good luck! And, be sure to tell us how it goes!
     
  4. acorn7

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    Based on what you said, I think she'll be totally OK with it and really glad to help you. Now, for the actual coming out... I suggest:
    1. Telling her you have something really important to talk to her about and bring her to a private place. (This is relatively easy and makes it essentially impossible to back up!)
    2. Just tell her... "Well, um, it's really hard to say... but um... I'm gay" (TADA! The hardest part)
    3. She'll probably be surprised but a good surprise! The tension should go down, she'll probably ask you questions like how long you've known, do you have a boyfriend, etc. Don't worry about planning answers, you know them anyway! It'll just feel natural. (This is more relaxing and the fun part).
    4. The End. (And the beginning...)

    That's my suggestion! Good luck and let us know how it goes.
     
  5. Mickey

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    Wow,not much I can add to what the op have said. It does sound like your sister
    will be great in all of this.
    I know it's a hard thing (coming out ), and I give you so much credit for doing so.
    All I can say is good luck. Let us know how it went...we care. Mickey*
     
  6. Greggers

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    Aww, thank you guys. Yea, she is a great sister. Im going to make sure she has a beer in her hand first (that part wont be hard haha) so she is a little bit sedated first :wink:

    I guess ill just bring her downstairs and just spew it out, i wont beat around the bush.
    She knows something is up cause i told her ive been having some personal issues recently and i wanted to talk to her when she comes over next.

    Ok. I think i can do that :slight_smile:
     
  7. Greggers

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    OMG! In less than four hours my sister is coming over and im going to "come out" then...

    Im so nervous im peeing bullets! :frowning2:

    Will she ask questions? Is that a normal response for someone face-to-face to ask questions? If so, anyone have examples of common ones?

    I want to be semi-prepared for this
     
  8. Mickey

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    She may ask you how you know you're gay.
    She may ask you if you've ever been intimate with anyone.
    She may ask how long you've felt this way.
    Whatever she does say/ask,just be truthful and forthcoming with her.
    I think it will go well. Let us know....we care.
     
  9. RaRa

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    Good luck. :slight_smile:
     
  10. Adam

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    Yes Good Luck! :grin:
    I will be going through the same thing on Wednesday If I can get myself too.
    Very nervous as well.
     
  11. Dazed

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    sunday is almost over...hope everything went well