I need too. But I was just talking to my mom about my religion and she broke down. How is she going to react when I tell her Im a girl? That I like guys and girls and everything else? Im so fucking fed up with hiding but Im too scared to come out. My family is a bunch of conservative catholics. When I talked about the amazing new gay marriage freedom my mom acted all weird. She said gays couldn't raise a family and the whole bible business. When I was talking about how some ultra conservative guy said the legalization of gay marriage was the new 9/11, my dad says it was from a cultural standpoint. Im so scared. I know who I am inside, who Im attracted to. I want to be called by my proper pronouns. To dress as a female and get HRT as soon as I can, to see a gender therapist. But to do that, I need to come out.
If you really don't think you can hold out much longer maybe you should. I came out to my mom recently and it went great. All my friends and nuclear family (- my dad) are completely understanding and caring. I'll have to wait at least anoter 2 and 1/4th years till I'm 18 and van come out to my dad. Then, if he doesn't take it well, and things get hairy, I'll have the right to move into my mom's till further notice. Sorry if this sounds like it's about me, because its not. I have to wait a while, you might not. You know your parents better than anyone here. How do you think they would take it? Do they ever tell you that they love you and care about you no matter what?
That's fucked up. I actually lost family on 9/11, and trust me, letting people marry who they love does not compare. I grew up catholic, and I never thought the way a lot of people do. If you love someone, you should be allowed to love them and trade vows with them. I have the same problems with my family too. They're not big fans of LGBT either. Even though they're alright when you don't talk about it. Your situation seems worse than mine though. Personally, I'm waiting for college so I can be on my own and transition without my family getting in the way. But I feel your pain sister. Just hang on. *hugs* ^-^ ♡
I'm thinking about the word "courage". Posthuman666, i want you to listen to these albums. It called "Choirgirls Hotel" by Tori Amos. Especially the song "Cruel". Being courageous comes the state of being at ease. "Vespertine" by Bjork. And Undo. Nature fixed no limits on our hopes. Lastly, "Tekkonkinkreet" by Plaid. This one is strangely cinematic, while the other two are quite confined and intimate. Like sitting in bubble, you know. This is one of the rare moments i'm actually trying to share something. I hope you enjoy it.
I think the term 'need to come out' is a little dangerous here. Perhaps, the way to look it at is, I need to breathe. Go out with a couple of your friends and tell them. The key part here is not who you tell but rather the act of just telling someone whether it be online anonymously or to someone you trust. Best of luck to you.
