I need some quick advice. So I'm texting my friend about doing something together later this month and I have been wanting to come out to him for a long time... And this will be the first time I've came out to anyone. He is expecting a text back from me soon and I want some advice. I want to text him and let him know that the plans we have come up with work for me.... But I also want to ad in there that I want to talk to him about "something" when we get together. This way he is expecting us to talk about something and Because of that I can't just make up excuses to my self again like I normaly do and not talk to him about my sexuality. I feel that it's time to get this off my chest... But I don't know if this is the right way. Idk if I should plant the idea that I want to talk about something serious in his mind, I'll be a nervus wreck when the time comes that we get together... Idk should I text him that or not? What's your opinion? :help:
If you know him well and trust he will react positively, then I'd say text him. Only so long as you are happy to come out to him though - dont feel pressured.
Same, if you think he'll react good, when you're going to tell him, I'd say text him that you want to talk about something. He might get curious, but you could say that you'd like to tell him in person..
Go for it. Embrace your nervousness. Move through it. Make the text; have the chat. It will be a chance to grow and next time you have to do something like this you'll have less anxiety.
By telling him you have something you want to talk about, you are giving yourself a nudge to get it done, when he asks you what you wanted to talk about. Probably a good idea, if you are nervous, and afraid you will wuss out when you get together.
The fact that this is nerve-wracking isn't going to go away. If that's what you're waiting for, then make up your mind to become effectively a eunuch and hide in the closet for the next 70 years of your life. There is a forum on EC for people who are coming out later in life. If you read their stories, you'll see the fear you're feeling now isn't something that dissipates with time. It's the same terror combined with the complications that come into your life as you get older. There is no free lunch, here. Cross the Abyss. Come on over. We have cookies. And that sounds like an acceptable opening.
No matter if your 20, 50, or 70. We all have had the same nervous feelings about telling that first person. Once you do you feel releaved. It truly gets better. As the commercial says, "Just Do It". You'll feel so much better.
You're you, so you come out the way you want at your own pace. However, coming out to people, I think that doing it through person is better if your a person that's prone to tears... cuz when you're vulnerable and cry, someone's gonna be around to give you a hug. On the flip side, texting is better if you're afraid of upfront rejection and have doubts about whether or not that person is going to respond positively. But just remember, you come out at your own pace. Best of luck to you.
