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Forced into coming out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Gillyflower, Jul 2, 2015.

  1. Gillyflower

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2015
    Messages:
    1
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    Location:
    Netherlands
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Hello there!

    I am a twenty year old bissexual girl but I have only come out to one friend after he came out to me as bisexual a few weeks ago. So far I have been quite comfortable with the way things are and haven't seen the necessity to come out to my friends or family. I am in a relatively liberal environment at University so I always thought that once I came out it wouldn't be a big deal. However, today my best friend here at uni told me that she would probably not take a room she had found for her semester abroad, which she had been really excited about becaue her flatmate would be a lesbian. That shocked me and made me realize that maybe not everyone around me was as tolerant as I had thought. Especially, hearing that from her really hurt. Now I am not sure how to react. I don't really want to be forced into coming out by having to explain to her why I am acting differently towards her but I also don't want to just carry on as before and act as if nothing ever happened.

    I would really appreciate some advice from you guys! :slight_smile:
     
  2. Cubxu

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2015
    Messages:
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    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Was she bitter towards her being a lesbian, or just that she had the idea that the flat mate would be making advances towards her? That might be why, which is kind of understandable, as she probably doesn't realise LGBT people don't pounce on everyone hey see. If you're worried about coming out, don't be forced to do anything! Also, you can still tell people one at a time, the people you trust, and not come out in one go.

    If the topic comes up again, just act normally. You may think it might be obvious you're not straight when you defend LGBT topics, but for her to accuse you of it would be a big risk on her own part if she is 'wrong' or the effect it would have on your relationship. Don't lose your head, don't worry if you can't make suitable debate, act casual and shrug it off.

    Sorry, I'm really tired so I apologise if this isn't the advice you're looking for.