Hi all, I need some advice on how to come out to my dad. Let me explain a little bit about our relationship first, and what kind of guy he is. Growing up, I hated my dad, and I never thought that he truly loved me. He's not my biological father, but he's been my dad my whole life. I was a major tomboy as a kid, always preferring to play sports and play with toy cars etc. and I HATED barbies. I've only just recently realized/come to terms with the fact that I'm gay, and I want every important person in my life to know. I first talked to my mother about it, and she's been nothing but supportive. I've also told my siblings and my best friend (all three equally as supportive) and because of this I've only gotten more confident in who I am. I've even extended my coming out to one of my aunts & a high school friend, both who are religious mormon women, as well as my close friend and co-worker. All of these instances felt really good, lifting more of a burden off of my shoulders. That brings me to wanting to be able to tell my father. I've purposely kept this from him, because I'm afraid of what he'll do. I know he won't hate me, and that he'll still love me, that's not the issue. I'm afraid he'll throw it back in my face and make fun of me. He always used to make comments about me being gay when I was younger, thinking it was funny, and it would always make me cry. Even now as a 24 year old woman, I'm afraid the same thing will happen. I just recently had a conversation with him about gay marriage becoming legal, and he had a lot to say, in the negative aspect. I know he doesn't like gay men, he used harsh terms and thinks they are less of a man, which I totally disagree with, but can't say anything about on account of him being rude to me. His standpoint on lesbians is that if they're hot it's okay because he enjoys watching them. (He's very chauvinistic and sexist) so I'm not sure how he'll take it. My sister tells me he won't care, and that he'll still love me, and seems to think he won't make me feel small, but I'm having a hard time believing her. I guess my question is, what would you all advise to be the best 'plan of attack' so to speak? And what do I do if he does make fun of me, or make some joke that is rude? (even if he doesn't intend it that way) I'm afraid I'll just get super emotional and walk away, only creating a rift between us. I'd really love for him to know, and accept me, so that we can grow and fix our damaged relationship.
I'm in a similar situation. My dad is my real dad but he's an alcoholic and growing up around it was hard and I still hold resentment. I'm not out to either of my parents and know my mom would be supportive but I have no idea how my dad would react. The other night after drinking, he came into the kitchen and had negative remarks about the gay marriage thing and said "now Elton John can marry Bruce Jenner" and it's funny because my dad has no reason to be anti gay (he's not religious and has a gay cousin). I feel like he wouldn't say anything if I came out and would be happy if I found someone that makes me happy, but he would definitely mock or make fun of me when he's drunk (which is 3/4 times a week)
Yea thats definitely not good. They don't realize how their words affecr us, and it makes it hard. I hope you're mother is supportive at least, I would have a lot harder time if mine wasn't.
