Okay, so this has been on my mind non-stop for the past while, and I just need to get it out of my system I guess. Basically, i'm a girl who's currently in an online relationship with a guy i've known for about 6-7 months. We've been dating for about 4 of those months, and I enjoyed it at first and we were planning to meet this summer. I've always considered myself pansexual, due to gender not influencing my feelings towards someone whatsoever, but recently i've found myself wanting to be with only girls. I don't know what it is, i've just been having dreams and thoughts about intimate activity with girls. I have no idea if I still like guys anymore, I just can't imagine being with one right now. I haven't spoken to my online friend group on a Skype call in just over a week now, and honestly our interests were beginning to differ anyways. They've messaged me asking if i'm okay, but I can never bring myself to tell them. I struggle with talking about my feelings, and I don't think I could ever tell him what's really going on. I can't continue ignoring them, it's selfish and unfair, but I can't bring myself to talk to them about it. I don't know what I want anymore, and I have no idea who I am anymore. I was so comfortable with everything, and all of a sudden i've completely changed. Maybe i'm over complicating it all (i'm assuming it's due to other recent struggles i've been going through) and I shouldn't try to look into more than I am. I've never came out to my family, and only my friend group really know. Though, my mum knows I dislike labeling sexuality and feel people should love who they love without feeling a need to call that attraction something. And she knows I consider myself the same, so I often hint at that. What do I tell my friend group, and what do I do about this sudden change? I'm finding it really hard to cope with, and I feel like i'm just being a terrible person by avoiding it all. I'm still quite young, so i'm probably thinking about everything too much... tl;dr I'm a pansexual girl who recently only likes girls, in an online relationship, and am unable to break it off or tell them how I really feel.
Hi and welcome to EC! A lot of people feel the way you do. It is hard to tell people about these kinds of things. If you are uncomfortable in a relationship then maybe you should get out? If you don't have feelings for the other person, then maybe you should just break up. But I am not you and I don't know your situation. I just don't want you to be unhappy. My advice is to just take things slowly. Think about it. There is no reason to feel bad about who you are. It doesn't matter if your young if you know who you are. Im a 15 year old pansexual trans girl and I am comfortable with that fact.
Is all of your dating done as part of the group or do you guys get alone time? Maybe tell him how you are feeling when you two are alone. You could see if you feel more attracted to him in person, since sometimes it's hard to tell without meeting in person. You could be only attracted to women, or maybe you just aren't attracted to him specifically. Or if you've never been in a relationship before, maybe you are just nervous about taking things further. You talk about your interests changing. Do you still feel like you like him at all, or were you just attracted to him in the first place because of a few things you had in common? If you still like him it's worth a try to see where things go, but if you are more physically attracted to women and you don't have very strong feelings for him anymore, it might be better to break things off.
