Hey I've never posted on anything like this before but was hoping for some advice and thought I would give it a shot, I myself am actually fully out, I came out to close friends and family four years ago and came fully out two years ago when moving to university, my problem has been that I never actually came out to my parents, they found out through other means and it resulted in a lot of conflict and to give one example of how rough it was I spent roughly two months being locked in my own house with no possessions as they had all been taken from me and hidden except for my bed, clothes and a few books. As you can imagine me and my parents had some massive conflict over my sexuality, whilst things have returned to normal for a long time now I still feel super uncomfortable and at sometimes even randomly upset with my parents for what happened, I'm very brief and quiet with them and don't like discussing my personal life with them, even though they realised what they did was wrong I still feel very tense and somewhat betrayed by what happened and it resulted in me hating my sexuality, who I was and the LGBT community for the longest time and I have no idea how to approach it. I don't really have any LGBT friends in real life as I don't usually get on with other gay guys in real life not even at the LGBT society at my university so I was hoping someone could hopefully give me some kind of helpful advice as to what to do to perhaps move past it and start feeling better about the whole thing. Many Thanks in advance to anyone who at the very least took the time to read this.
It's totally understandable that you should have some residual ill feeling towards your parents. I'm pleased they eventually recognised and accepted the error of their ways, but it's very hard to move beyond a distressing and traumatic incident like you described -- essentially, they held you prisoner. I wonder if you can explain how that particular situation resulted in you hating your sexuality and the LGBT community/scene? I would really like to understand the connection, from your perspective. Can you also say how you felt about your sexuality, before your parents found out? I wonder if you and your parents would consider the idea of family counselling to try to repair the brokenness in your relationship. They have accepted how they were wrong and that's a positive sign, but it doesn't end there. Additional counselling may help you to reach a better level of self acceptance too. What do you think?
I guess it wasn't just that situation that made me resent my sexuality for a while, my first and only boyfriend was a horrible person and any attempt to integrate with the LGBT community was usually met with hostility and just isolated me further, it just felt like my life had been mostly positive but the few negatives that have occurred seemed to all revolve around my sexuality. My sexuality before coming out was a very non-issue, I lived in the countryside aware from most cities and as such never really had much exposure to the gay community if any. As a person i'd like to say i'm fairly intelligent and self-aware and I just came to the realization I was gay when like 12 and didn't really think much of it, it wasn't until I came out that I started to dislike it. Honestly I don't think my dad has really accepted it and i'm afraid to bring it up again, I mostly suppressed those memories I think as when I try to think of details about that summer everything is kinda blurry, I'm just not really sure where to go about it as i'm afraid to say to them how I actually still feel about that whole situation.
