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Came out to mom... now what?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by YinYang, Jul 6, 2015.

  1. YinYang

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    I came out to my mom yesterday and I guess she took it okay. She said this was all new to her and that she is going through this with me. She's never had a family member of hers come out before, although she does have a gay friend from high school. I don't know what to do now. I want to help her get used to me being pansexual, but I don't know how. :help:
     
  2. Connorcode

    Connorcode Guest

    From my experience - similar to yours - you don't have to do anything. People get used to new things in their own way and need time to themselves to think it over. If she talks to you about it, then speak, and if you have something important to say, say it, but you don't need to help her get used to it.
    I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself well, but I'd say since she was okay with it she'll come to terms with it herself.

    Unless you mean you might help each other come to terms with it? Are you insecure or anything about your sexuality?
     
  3. YinYang

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    I still feel like I can help... Like I can do something to help her get used to it...
     
  4. Connorcode

    Connorcode Guest

    Like what, specifically?
    I don't think you need to sway her opinion or anything so I'm not sure why you would need to do anything but leave it settle.
     
  5. YinYang

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    I don't know... I just feel like I should help somehow...
     
  6. Connorcode

    Connorcode Guest

    I honestly think that just as you have had to get used to who you are, other people have to get used to you themselves.
    I asked you what you thought you could do to show that you can't do much but be positive and support her as she will support you.
    Perhaps that is how you can help: with mutual respect and support, be it through words or positive actions.
     
  7. YinYang

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    Okay. Thank you for your help :slight_smile:
     
  8. BradThePug

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    This is something that you have known for a bit. She has not known, so now she is going through some of what you went through when you first realized that you were pansexual. I think that being open to reasonable questions and willing to talk to her about it will help her. I wouldn't force the issue though.
     
  9. Van

    Van
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    Congrats! (!)

    Now... talk to her. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Or just take her to pride! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
  10. AwesomeSocks

    AwesomeSocks Guest

    Just be yourself. Now you have your mom to confide in. :icon_bigg
     
  11. guitar

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    Introduce her to LGBT media, films, maybe go to pride or a pflag meeting with her. Give her time, she's still learning about your sexuality just as you are.

    What did she say when you came out to her?
     
  12. YinYang

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    I told her that I wasn't bi, that I was pansexual. When she asked what it was, I explained it to her. At first, she said that I was still young and I might change, but I told her I didn't think so. She then said that she was going through this with me and that it was completely new to her (she has two gay friends, who just go married). We hugged and started joking around like we normally do. That's about it.
     
  13. hyperaware

    hyperaware Guest

    Oh, so she was already acquainted with the idea of you not being straight. Then it's even easier to get her used to your being pansexual. I like guitar's idea of introducing her to LGBT media.
     
  14. YinYang

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    But how would I do that? Would I send her a link to this website, or another website, or what?