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Being Outed By Other People

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SabreBear, Jul 7, 2015.

  1. SabreBear

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    The Rock
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So recently (as in a couple of days ago) I came out to my mother. She was surprisingly supportive, and I thank her for being like that.

    But it has just come to my attention that she has already outed me (without my consent) to a few other people. I am wondering what I should do in this situation.

    I really would like her to stop, but I don't really want to push anything more onto her about my orientation. I would just like to confront her about this, without having to blame her too much. (She might fly over the handle if I do.)

    Does anyone have any suggestions?
     
  2. Black00

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Tell her that just because you came out to her doesn't mean that your ready for everyone to know. Ask her to stop and to just let you go about this at your own pace.

    She probably thought since you told her that you were wanting just everyone to know.
     
  3. Silver Sparrow

    Full Member

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    Hi SabreBear, first of all, I want to say that I'm sorry that this happened to you. Being outed is really tough.
    I agree with the poster above, try to tell your mother that your coming out to her is not permission for her to out you to other people. She probably wants to be supportive, and thinks that vocally telling others shows that she is supportive. Try using I statements (here is a good link about I statements) in your conversation with her. They could help prevent her feeling like you are attacking her.
     
  4. DeviantAttitude

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Bisexual
    Its tough. My mom outed me out to my sister.

    Just tell her how you feel. Coming out to someone is something only you can do, and no one has the right to take that away.