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Are there certain members of your family you would just never come out to?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ant12, Jul 9, 2015.

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  1. ant12

    ant12
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    turnersville
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    i plan to come out soon. There are a few people who would accept me in my family, most won't, but the few is enough for me.

    I do not think i will ever be able to tell my grandparents. They're in their 70's, I'm the favorite grandkid and they will honestly probably have a heart attack. When gay marriage was legalized my grandpa randomly got into a conversation about how he thinks gays that adopt same sex kids as them are pedophiles and some other crazy shit.

    I also have an uncle who is extremely conservative and said that legalizing gay marriage sends a message that being gay is okay, and that it should still be illegal. He said gays are less than 2% of the population. (which I'm pretty sure is false but whatever) and that they don't even deserve rights anyway.

    Honestly i was about to come out because i was feeling really good after the supreme court legalized it in all 50 states but my family's reaction honestly got me pretty pissed. It's taken a long time for me to accept the fact that I'm gay and now knowing i would have to wait for my family to accept it too is just annoying and i don't even feel like dealing with it.
     
    #1 ant12, Jul 9, 2015
  2. Yossarian

    Yossarian
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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Come out to the ones who will accept you and don't worry about the ones who won't. They have excluded themselves from you by their attitudes, not the other way around. If they eventually hear about it and want to change their attitude, them forgive them; sometimes people change for the better when they wake up and realize what they have to lose by acting stupid.
     
    #2 Yossarian, Jul 9, 2015
  3. Aspen

    Aspen
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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I agree, come out to the ones that will accept you. I don't plan to come out to my grandpa either. He's 72 years old and I'd be afraid of what that would do to him. Although I was thinking the other day and I don't think I've ever heard him say anything homophobic, even when my mom is carrying on.

    I also don't plan to ever come out to my aunt or two uncles. My one uncle and aunt also happen to be my godparents and they already strongly disapprove of my decision never to go to church (we're Catholic). My other uncle is even worse than my mom about things. I once mentioned in passing that I wanted to get a tattoo and he told me if I did he'd cut it off.

    News can get around, though. I wouldn't mind any of them knowing, but they won't be hearing it from me.
     
    #3 Aspen, Jul 9, 2015
  4. SJPercy

    SJPercy
    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm Bigender and I'm accepting it. I think my parents half know about some of it but my mom doesn't think it's right and neither does my dad. The founds some of my search history and my dad just really said I love you no matter what and my mom was like that's not what God wants. I feel, and this is my opinion, don't get mad but I feel I'd rather just be gay or straight it's more simple to say and my parents would accept it if I just said I'M Gay then for me to say. I'm Bisexual so I like both sexes...oh and I'm also bigender so I kinda feel like a guy but I don't want to be called a guy and I don't want to be called a girl...." That I feel is complicated especially for some to wrap their heads around. My sister kinda already called me a freak and my brother really didn't want to be a round me. Some relatives I think would be cool about it and others wouldn't for sure.

    My advice though, tell a few. Word may get around. When you find someone you like that might be a good time to tell relatives like your Uncle and you could say something like this. "Uncle, I know you're against this and you won't agree with it and before you get mad or say anything let me finish. I'm gay. I understand that you don't agree with it and you don't think it is right and that's fine. But please, accept me for me."
     
    #4 SJPercy, Jul 9, 2015
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