1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Some advice, and my own experience

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ErickWolf, Jul 10, 2015.

  1. ErickWolf

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2015
    Messages:
    338
    Likes Received:
    29
    Location:
    Virginia, US
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I found this awesome quote in the book Queer by Kathy Belge and Marke Bieschke: "The first person you come out to is actually yourself."

    It's totally true! You have to come to terms with who you are first. I made the mistake of coming out several times (well, over the period of several years...) as bi, then lesbian, then trans*. So don't do what I did, and try to be sure of who you are before going and blabbing to someone and then changing your mind later. I really regret that, but it was when I used to not know much about the T in LGBT. Moving on from my derpiness.

    Coming out to close friends might be easier than telling parents or relatives. I'm considering coming out to one of my close friends and possibly my uncle soon-ish, because I know that they'll be accepting and happy that I'm being authentic. Before you do that kind of thing, though, try to bring up LGBT topics in general in a conversation and see how they react.

    Also, try going to queer YouTube channels. I've found a ton of great advice and seen some amazing people on there who have paved the way. That's also how I've gotten out of my denial period. It sucks but it's normal! Some ones I can recommend for other FTMs are uppercaseCHASE1 and FTMtranstastic. They have tons of stuff like questions about hormones and surgery, dealing with dysphoria, overcoming haters, telling people, binding, etc. It's like a treasure trove full of really helpful info!
    ---------------
    I'm not really out to anyone yet, so I need to take my own advice. xD But the last time I tried telling my mom (the end of last summer before 8th grade started; wow I feel old already), it didn't go well and she brought religion into it. We're not even that religious in my house; my parents are Christian but both of different denominations, and except for a childhood bible camp I did, we don't even go to church. So that really irritated me when my mom had to go and bring religion into it. The research paper and family FAQ for trans* site thing I tried doing was pretty much a waste, sadly; she just got totally freaked out, and I'm not telling my dad till I've moved out (if at all, since idk how he'd react).

    I'm pretty excited for high school since it'll be all new people and such. It has all kinds of clubs and foreign language classes that'll be fun, and they even have a GSA! So it seems like a great and accepting place to make more friends and come out. I love my friends on this site obviously, it'd just be nice to tell people I know face-to-face, too. Well it's after 1 now, so I'm going to bed. Hope this whole thing helped some people!
     
  2. Chairman2012

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2015
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Washington
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I completely relate to your story. I've came out multiple times and it never really gets any easier (at least for me).