Hi! I was wondering if there are people who "came out" without having a boy/grilfriend or not even same sex experiences at that time? How did friends/family react? Was it harder for them to understand? I know that my family and friends would be completely supportive and accepting but I fear that some would not take it as serious (or it would be less real for them) as when I would bring a girlfriend home..
Im in the process of coming out to friends right now. I do this at my own steady pace. and so far they all take it very well which is always such a relief to me! I've never been with a woman though, only thing I did was kissing and some touching (above waiste). Most people seem to understand, escpecially my male friends. they dont seem to mind one bit. I had one friend who told me she allready guessed it. so so far so good I guess?? I do not have a clue on how to tell my parents, I dont know wether i should wait with coming out to them until i have a gf? or wether i should do it right now.. I know my mum wont be a problem but my dad... whole diffrent story! and my brother he loves me so I know he wont mind :3 (and he never had a girl so i'm slighty guessing he's gay.. but I could be wrong too) so yeah
Congrats on your bravery to tell your friends, huge step! That's what I want to do as well, but I would have never imagined these conversations being that hard. Although as I said, I am sure they all will react great. Well, regarding your parents I guess it all depends on your relationship with them. In my case, we are getting along great and they always have been my “life advisors” . So I really want to tell them, but not necessarily in all detail. So my plan was to tell a friend first to practise and then my mum. Btw, how was it to tell your female friends? Any weird reactions thinking that you might be attracted to them?
the relationship with my mum is good, with my dad, its a bit rusty but I'll see what happens when the time is there to tell.. (which will be for a while I guess) Well I always use kind of a diffrent turn out... depending from how close I am with that friend or the other. I remember one time, my friend just happened to start about the gaysubject. she told me there was a girl hitting on her, but that she wasn't interested and well I asked her how she felt about gays in general and she was like: I don't mind at all, everyone has his/her own intrests so I didn't mind her telling me she was hitting on me. I have to admit there was a silence for a few seconds and i couldn't help but smile, cause i was nervous and releaved at the same time. she noticed and she smiled: wait... are u telling me, u are..." I just nodded and well she jumped from her chair hugging me, telling me it was great that i came out to her etc. we had a very nice evening! I was mostly in utter schock! cause i couldn't believe she took it so well! She adviced me to tell my friends first and see how it goes, she's kinda my back up. I know if anything goes wrong, she'll be there to catch my back how do u think on planning them or one friend? (I tell them all seperately or with a group of 3, it makes me feel more at ease)
Great story! My plan was for now to tell only close friends and my parents, all separately! I guess that makes it easier… I just hope the first talks go well, not only in terms of accepting but more importantly I don’t want to justify being gay even though I don’t have experiences.. But I am glad to hear that this was not even an issue for you two. Will see what comes next. I still want to keep it a secret besides the people I plan to tell. I am not ashamed but I think it’s no ones business. Coming out is a pretty personal issue and I think it will still take me a while to feel comfortable with it. An additional factor is of course, that homosexuality is illegal in the country I currently live in. I hope to live this life more openly when I move to another country in some years..
Thats what I do too. I only tell close friends and family when I'm ready... the rest is personal and is only for me to know in my private life, I don't think i'll ever tell collegues from work and so on. and well if they find out so be it, or if they question me, I will tell them (if im ready at that moment) but I'll ask them to mind their own priveate lifes though... yeah it did go very well when u browse the forum u'll see I went out with an old friend of mine and well I think she got me hooked but ill keep it for u to read if interested. keep me updated on how things go? if not in this topic maybe through wallposts or pm?
I came out my parents because I was getting more involved in the gay scene. I didn't want them to find out from someone else that I am gay.
Yes I'm in the same boat. I too would like to come out to family and friends, but with no real experience I hesitate. Would my lifelong friends really take me seriously? They have never seen me in a relationship with anyone. I'm sure some of them may have suspected that I am gay, probably even talked about it behind my back. The one friend I did come out to was great about it and ended up being bisexual, it didn't surprise him that I was not seeing anyone though. So I think telling your friends and family would be a good thing. They may be a little bewildered at first, but they will also be seeing the real you. I'm still trying to decide how or even if I'm going to do this myself though, I just thought I would chime in and let you know you are not alone. Best wishes.
Thank you for sharing, greatly appreciated! I have always thought if the first coming out talk goes well that it would make it so much easier to tell more people, especially friends. At least this is my hope! In your case however, it seems different as you came out to one friend but then stopped. Why is it still so difficult even after you got a great reaction?
Well, the friend I told is a new friend who doesn't really know any of my lifelong friends that well. There was just something I trusted about him, and I suspected that he may be gay or bisexual so I kinda cheated. He has been very supportive and a great friend in trying to give me the courage to come out to more people though. Thanks
I haven't said anything yet to anyone, Just this woman I can't stop thinking about. However when I was about six I liked this girl and actually pretended to be a boy to get her to like me. It worked. Any ways the only thing I have ever done was I kissed a woman. I was about 23 and I liked it. Funny because I am married. Have been 3 times and at some point, I can't stand when being with a man for very long. Sexually anyways. Hard to explain. I almost think I have been gay my whole life and use men as a cover up.
